Secret Stories

This is the first house I owned. This was many, many years ago when I was newly married. The house looked different then but was an artist and book house while I lived there.

The First House I Ever Owned, As It Looks Today

The house cost us $15,000.

Oddly, I have art and book friends who live here, now. Odder still, it remains an art and book house. I am often invited to my friend’s parties and it is always daja vu being at that house!

It’s a hot day and there is yet another gathering here.  I will let you pick out and guess who the following stories belong to at this party.

Good luck.

The Band In The Backyard

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Can Old Ladies Be Trusted?

Carol is 85 and beats the heads off live rattlesnakes. Then she skins the rest of the snake. And salts the skins.

 

Only SOME Of Carol’s Snake Skins

This is her collection.

She and the rattlesnakes live, and some expire, on a big ranch down the road from me.
Every Thursday, my art friend Regina, myself and our art teacher Stan, come to Carol’s house to paint. Many times when I walk from outside the house into Carol’s laundry room, I jump half my body length into the air. I jump because Carol has several snake skins or more, laid out on the top of her dryer, right next to the door. They’re just lying there like live snakes in repose;  relaxed and salted as they dry.

I often shriek.  Read the rest of this entry »

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My Mother’s Friend

My Mother’s Friend, Martha

My mother’s friend Martha is 90 years old. She is mainly blind from birth, and now her hearing is drifting off. I imagine words coming towards her and curling into a gentle, blue puffy cloud.

Martha lives alone with her dog friend, Gretel.

Martha considers my mother her best friend. But, my mother is dead… and hence so is Martha’s best friend.

Martha calls me on the phone one day, wanting to return a book to me. She must have borrowed it from my mother.

I say, “Keep it or give it away, whatever you want.”

There is a silence.

“Oh. Do you want me to come and get it?” I ask.

Yes. She does.

She’s lonely. She wants to see me. I haven’t seen Martha since my mother died 2 1/2 years ago.

The next day when I arrive at her gate, I park my car, get out and wait for her to push her way down the drive with her walker. She unlocks the heavy wire gate and I step through the opening.

She reaches toward me, takes my face in her hands and peers closely up into my face.

“Oh. You look just like your mother. It’s like having your mother here with me, again.”

I am going to be my mother for an hour or two as I spend some time with Martha.

We inch our way up the long drive. Martha tells me she has to use the walker because her dog, in her great thrill with life and running, ran over her one day when they were outside. Greta knocked Martha to the ground and Martha broke her leg.

“But, I’m fine now,” Martha tells me once we are settled in the house at her table. “I only bring the walker outside with me so Greta can’t take me down when she’s chasing rabbits and squirrels.

Martha has a nice old house. It’s not fancy. It’s plain. The kitchen where we are sitting has old coffee cans dotting the sink, mismatched dishes and cracked drinking glasses. It looks like my mother’s kitchen.

Martha’s husband died 25 years ago. I remember him. A tall man with a great, big dark moustache that ran up at the ends into a wide smile.

They raised chickens. Looking out the kitchen window I notice the long old chicken houses, rusted with age and neglect.

Martha has been alone for a long, long time.

Her children live in places like China and Nepal. One lives across a wide field near Martha but she is gone for ten and more hours a day.

I look around and silently wonder, ‘How do you live alone when you are old and nearly blind and can hardly hear?’

“How do you do it?” I ask her.  ”How do you feel about living alone?”

Martha says she is healthy. That even her knees are good. She thinks a minute. “About living and being alone for so many years? I just do it.”

She says it used to be easier when a bus came by and took her uptown but that it’s been years since that bus came by. Once a week, a friend takes her for a senior lunch at the Centre. The daughter that lives across the big field, takes her grocery shopping and they have lunch every Sunday.

I hear the ticking of an old wooden clock on the kitchen wall. We sit quietly and I listen to the tick. Martha has been listening to that clock tick her days away for at least 25 years.

“I have to go now,” I say, reluctantly. “I have to be somewhere else.”

“Oh. It’s been so nice having you here for awhile,” she says. She is disappointed that I have to go.

“In a couple, of weeks,” I say, “I’m going to call you and come and get you and take you to my house for lunch and tea. Would you like that?”

She would!

Now, we both have something to look forward, too.

Martha sees my mother in me…and I see my mother in Martha.

My mother’s old friend is now my new friend.

My mother’s friend is now my friend, too.

Suddenly, I feel all sweet and warm inside.

….*Do you know the kind of work I do when I’m not busy having Adventures?  THIS YEAR is a great time to have a Phone Reading with me!   Visit me at www.GodIsAlwaysHappy.com for rates and availability.

*Would you like to receive my NEWSLETTER: ‘The Juicy News’ ? Sign up where you see the Blue Head Phones on the right side of this blog story on the original blog page: http://www.godisalwayshappy.com/blog

*If My True Life (this Blog) gives you a lift, please consider EMAILING it to your friends. You will keep me writing and that is good for my mental health. Better To Get These Weird Things Out Of Mind, Rather Than Keep Them In, right?

*You can also find me on Google+ and FB Fan Page under venus andrecht.  


 

 

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Art and Sex

An ‘Ordinary’ Winery?

This Winery is a small leap from my house, right around a bend in the Oak tree lined road. It looks like any day at any Winery, doesn’t it?

But, maybe not.

It’s an Italian Winery, and the man and wife who own it, both in their 80′s, make fresh pizza for us in their out door brick oven.

When we come here we eat crisp pizza dripping with cheese and drink bottles of wine. Italian men play instruments on the patio and sing Italian opera for us while we overlook the grape vineyards and the great rock and grass strewn valley below.

Today, I’m here with my daughter, her husband and my 6 year old grandson and 10 year old granddaughter.

I’ve been here, before but my god, something has changed.

Look at the photo, again. Do you see anything unusual about it? No? Well. Let me show you a few things.

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Bob’s Privates

This Is ‘Worried’ Bob

Bill is talking about Bob’s anal glands, again.

It’s early morning. I have just gotten up and am dozing a bit in my comfortable leather chair with the sun on my shoulders, in the sitting room. With a full coffee cup in one hand, I am easing into the day.

*Bill has come in from his Studio that’s attached to my house.

“Good morning,” he says. Then he makes a bit of cheery chit chat about the world news, which isn’t like him. Instead of just leaving me the newspaper, he is being sociable.

Standing in front of me  he says, “We need another $60 for repair of the leaf blower. I already gave the guy $30.”

I say, “Bill, this is why I like to buy quality. We get something cheap and we pay more and more when it breaks down.”

The cheap leaf blower is always breaking down. Guess who picked it out.

We have a tiny, heated discussion about the leaf blower.

When that subject gets beaten up there is silence while Bill jiggles up and down.

“I’ve been looking at replacements for the  outside chair cushions,” he says.

He goes on to remark on the colors, the stuffings, the different brands that he likes.

We have discussed this many times. He wants the cushions. I have found the cushions I like and would have ordered them a month ago if I were in charge.

Bill wants what I, as an artist, consider some ugly replacements and we have been arguing about this. Finally, I have said, “Since I’m paying for them, we are getting what I want.”

I have asked Bill a number of times to measure the 3 types of chairs and then I will order the cushions. I have been leaving this to him as the whole replacement thing is his idea.

Meanwhile, we are heading into the summer and are at an impasse.

I take a deep breath. No reason to be mad about a small, silly thing.

“So, we need to get Bob to the vet to squeeze his anal glands,” Bill says. Read the rest of this entry »

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Justice Prevails

Ramona, California-The Town Where Justice Lives

“Justice wants to walk you to your car,” the woman says.

Our small health food store is one of my favorite places in town. It’s owned by a couple with 5 children.

I’m at the counter checking out my little bag of groceries and when I hear the woman’s voice, I glance behind me. And look down. There is a small boy with brown hair looking up at me. His mother, one of the owners, is standing behind him.

“OoooK…” I say to his mom. “That’s nice of him. Sure, he can walk me to my car.”

The checker slides my Trader Joe’s bag to me.

I take it and say to Justice, “Let’s go?”

He reaches out a spindly arm and says, “Give me your bag.”

Justice appears to be a serious, no nonsense kind of guy.

As I hand the bag over I’m glad I’ve shopped light today.

Justice has my groceries and struggles to push open the heavy glass door for me. I give it a shove from behind him.

We ease down the crumbly concrete steps of the old building and into the tiny alley. I say,

“Always look for cars when you do this. Look both ways now. Left and right.”

I want to take his hand to guide him but it doesn’t seem right when he’s walking me to the car and carrying my bag.

We quickly get to my car and I open the back door, after Justice has gamely tried to do it.

He puts the bag on the seat.

I shut the door.

“Thanks so much Justice, you were so helpful. I really appreciate your help. Be careful crossing the alley, now. Look both ways.”

I turn away and open my car door. I am half way into the seat when I hear his voice behind me.

“I take tips.”

“You do?!” I almost shout.

Bounding out of the car I stand and look down at Justice. He’s looking up at me, holding his ground.

“You take tips?”

I’m thinking, ‘How much money do you give a little kid?’

“How old are you?” I ask.

“I’m six.”

I’m thinking of my 6 year old grandson. He doesn’t know a dime from a doughnut hole. A quarter and a dollar and a hundred dollar bill are all the same to him.

I’m stalling for time to think.

“What do you need the money for?”

“Things. I need money for things. Like going to Disney Land.”

Opening my coin purse I think, ‘A quarter or a dollar?’ I decide on a quarter and put it in Justice’s out stretched hand.

He takes it and puts it in his jean’s front pocket.

He looks up at me.

“I’m Justice,” he says. “I fight for justice for the good guys against the bad guys.”

Briefly, I think, ‘Am I a good guy? Is a quarter enough to qualify?’

Justice is a serious kid. I’d like to be on the good side.

He turns to leave and I say, ”Next time I’m in, I’ll ask for you. Look both ways, now. Watch for cars.”

As he carefully makes his way back to the steps and into the store I start laughing.

‘I take tips.’

I have just met a very Young Entrepreneur and perhaps a soon to be Famous Prosecutor and a Fighter for Social Justice.

I won’t forget Justice, that’s for sure. He’s a scrappy little fellow that will be grown up one day. And in those future days I may need  to have him in my corner of any ring I might find myself in.

So, look around folks. Are there any kids you know that you might want to mentor or cultivate with particular attention and kindness? After all, little kids become big kids and they eventually run the world.

….*Do you know the kind of work I do when I’m not busy having Adventures? Look here for details. THIS YEAR is a great time to have a phone reading with me!   Visit me at www.GodIsAlwaysHappy.com for rates and availability.

*Would you like to receive my NEWSLETTER; ’The Juicy News” ? Sign up where you see the Blue Head Phones on the right side of this blog story on the original blog page: http://www.godisalwayshappy.com/blog

*If My True Life (this Blog) gives you a lift, please consider EMAILING it to your friends. You will keep me writing and that is good for my mental health. Better To Get These Weird Things Out Of Mind, Rather Than Keep Them In, right?

*You can also find me on Google+ under venus andrecht.  All lower case.


 

 

 

 

 

 

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Chicken Lady & Underwear Man

 

Not Chickens But Close Enough?

“Stop, Baba! Stop! I’m scared! Turn around!”

My grandkids are screaming with terror in the back seat of my car.

Too late to stop. We are climbing straight up the side of a mountain that is mainly enormous shiny boulders. Chicken Lady lives here and we have come to meet her chickens.

Eeeh gads. Even I am nervous. I haven’t expected this.

We reach a small plateau surrounded by more Straight Up. I park the car. This is the place. We all get out and we are leaning forwards so we can stay upright.

There is an old house up the grade aways and behind and beside us and in front of us are long, slung together chicken sheds.

Around us, beside us and in front of us run big goats and baby goats, loose chickens and cats.

An old woman dressed in overalls slides down the mountain towards us.

It’s Chicken Lady!

Loch who is 6, is looking at the ground around his feet which is littered with  small, moist brown balls. The balls are arranged in artistic scattered piles and lines, as far as we can see.

Loch says to Chicken Lady, “What is that stuff?”

Chicken Lady puts down a bucket and  says, “It’s goat poop.”

Loch winces, cries out and tries to dance around and away from it.

Chicken Lady looks at me and says, “Where is he from?”

I say he lives at the Coast and they don’t have goat manure there.

We tilt our heads back and look up. More goats are climbing the rocks and the mountain. I am trying to keep my balance by flailing my arms and moving my feet.

Chicken Lady suggests we meet the chickens. We turn and slide down the hill and kind of roll into one of the vast sheds. The sunlit sheds contain all kinds of chickens that are roaming at will. There’s also a lot of goats in here.

The kids are impressed.

A big, gold goat comes trotting up to Loch, stops and stands in front of him and pees a massive pee.

Loch points and yells, “What’s that!?”

Chicken Lady looks surprised and disgusted at his question.

“It’s a goat peeing,” she says.

Loch screams and backs away, going into a ragged wail of fake crying.

“What’s the matter with you?” Chicken Lady says.

She stares at him and says, “Everything poops and everything pees. Get used to it.”

This is our day at the chicken ‘ranch.’

As we climb into the car to leave, Chicken Lady sidles up to me and asks if I think the kid will ever be normal. I say that I hope so. That I am trying to teach Loch about Real Life Beyond The Cosmopolitan Coast.

We say ‘Good-bye’ and ‘thanks,’ to Chicken Lady. Then we slam our car doors, kick the red car into gear and slide it down the mountain, leaving (I’m sorry to say) Chicken Lady in a great whirl of dust and tiny stones. The kids yell, “Go faster Baba! Go faster!” Read the rest of this entry »

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My Stupid Love Life

Good Energy Art By Venus http://www.artmojos.com

It’s 6PM, several years ago. I’m cutting flowers in my summer garden. My house phone is ringing and I rush inside the kitchen to answer it. It’s Harry, the fellow my brother has been telling me has a crush on me. I’m breathing hard from the quick run from the yard.

Harry says, “Venus, what time does your mother go to bed?”

“Ah…what?  My mother? What times does my mother go to bed? Eight? Eight-thirty? Why.”

“I’d like to go and see her ,” Harry says, “But, maybe it’s too late in the day.”

My mother is 87 and Harry is maybe 40. He thinks of my mother as his mother.

“Here”, I say, “I’ll give you her care taker’s number. She can tell you if Mom is still up.”

“No, no!” Harry shouts.  ”Don’t.”

“OK,” I say. “Goodnight then?”

“Thank you, Venus,” Harry says, “for running inside to answer the phone.”

Later, I laugh myself to sleep. This is one of the more novel excuses a man has used to phone me.

“What time does your mother go to bed?” !!? Read the rest of this entry »

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A Dog Celebrates Easter

March 27th, 2013 Posted to Words from Venus

 

The Story Of Easter

Bugs is acting strangely. He’s a large white and black dog who is right now busily and  awkwardly dancing on a small patch of lawn. The lawn bumps up to endless alfalfa fields and clusters of locust trees that smell sweet and clean in the desert spring.

My grandfather, who we call kids Lancaster, is walking slowly toward his dog.

Lancaster lives and raises turkeys with my grandmother on the Mojave Desert in California, a very long time ago.

I’m 5 years old and wearing a stiff white and yellow organdy dress.

My sister Polly at 3, is wearing the same.

We have little fake, pastel flowers on a band around our heads.

It’s Easter and we are wearing our new Easter dresses along with little white shoes and silky white socks with lace.

My grandmother is inside the house, roasting turkeys. Grandma is always roasting turkeys. She says it’s because the big birds are continually falling ill and toppling over dead in their pens.

Grandma says, “Why should dead turkeys go to waste; better to eat them.”

There are always a number of roasted turkeys reclining on platters in every room of their hot desert home.

We think this is normal.

We think everything about our lives is normal. What do we know? We are little kids.

This is the first Easter I remember having a new Easter dress and later I can’t remember ever having one, again.

I think we are going to church. Which is an unusual occurrence, too. I think we are showing our new clothes to Lancaster. I know we are enjoying our scratchy, delightful dresses and the flowers around our heads.

I don’t know why we have come outside to watch a dog dance but I do remember the outcome.

Lancaster is calling Bugs’s name. He’s also carrying a huge pair of rusty pliers in one of his large hands.

Our father comes outside.

“Dad!” he’s shouting, “Has that damn dog been eating dead turkey feet, again?”

“Awwwh! Bugs! Come here,” our grandfather calls out to his dog.

Lancaster is a handsome man, an ex-marine who lets us hang off his muscled arms. He is a kind man and a sweet man. He’s sensitive and good to people and animals.

He gets close to Bugs and grabs him.

Bugs shrieks.

Lancaster expertly flips him over onto the grass.

He lifts the dog’s long bushy tail and takes a close look at his anus.

Polly and I are intrigued and gather close. We peer at Bugs’s bottom.

Lancaster takes his heavy pliers and begins pulling at something. Bugs yelps.

Lancaster lifts the pliers to the sun for inspection.

“Yes,” he says, “he’s been eating turkey feet, again. Look at the size of this turkey toenail!”

Our father leans close.

“He’s the damndest dog,” our father says. “Those giant  talons must hurt like hell when he’s trying to pass them. He never learns.”

Every year when other people think about Easter and Jesus being Resurrected, Amen and the Glory of God and Life Everlasting, I think about organdy dresses, fake hair flowers and Bugs trying to poop out turkey talons.

Which just goes to show that everyone sees religion differently and it’s time we all got used to that.

….*Do you know the kind of work I do when I’m not busy having Adventures? Look here for details. THIS YEAR is a great time to have a phone reading with me!   Visit me at www.GodIsAlwaysHappy.com for rates and availability.

*Would you like to receive my NEWSLETTER; ’The Juicy News” ? Sign up where you see the Blue Head Phones on the right side of this blog story on the original blog page: http://www.godisalwayshappy.com/blog

*If My True Life (this Blog) gives you a lift, please consider EMAILING it to your friends. You will keep me writing and that is good for my mental health. Better To Get These Weird Things Out Of Mind, Rather Than Keep Them In, right?

*You can also find me on Google+ under venus andrecht.  All lower case.


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What I Know About Love

My Cat Friend, Karl

I put the following on my FB Fan Page:

“When I got up this morning, I found my young, much loved, Maine Coon cat, Karl dead on my bedroom floor. He had died instantly with a genetically bad heart. He had slept with me part of the night, snuggling in my hair and under my chin and covers as he always did. I knew he would die suddenly in the far off ‘Someday’ but not today. Every day I told Karl, many times a day, how much I love him. That’s all we can do with our pets and people. Love them, tell them, treat them well & help them be as happy as possible. Everything ends here on earth, ‘Someday.’ xo venus”

A few weeks after I got Karl as a kitten, my vet told me his sad future. I chose to live with that eventual reckoning and keep and love him. Just as with any relative of mine, my animals are with me for life, no matter what.

I loved Karl intensely, always knowing the outcome, knowing I only had a year or two with him.  I kept him and I loved him, knowing that the pain I would have, would be in direct proportion to the deep love I chose to feel for him.

My ex-husband has never had another animal since we divorced many years ago. He still recalls his pain when our 2 dogs died, and he says he can’t go through that, again.

I tell him, “By doing this,  you’ve left a number of desperate animals without a home that could have had safety and love with you.” I say, “I know that the pain of loss is huge, but the pain of not loving a human being or a creature, and refusing and being afraid to love again, is greater.”

I tell him that when we close our doors to loving animals or people, we ask for and accept a more barren existence.

My cats then climb into his lap and he loves them for a moment. Then, he leaves my house and goes back to his life of golf and bridge and beer.

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