Archive for the ‘ Mysteries in Life ’ Category

The Little Pink Dress

Tuesday, June 8th, 2010

“THE LITTLE PINK DRESS”

(Hanging In My Art Room Minding It’s Own Business.)

I’m having a family party at my house. My sister, sitting in a chair on the patio, leans over to me sitting on the chair next to her and says, “Venus, someone has to tell you. Never wear that dress again. Go look in the mirror at your butt.”

I look at Polly, agast.

“That dress ripples all up your butt. Go look. You’ll see.”

I run madly into the house and look in the Magic Mirror, the one who lies to me and always tells me I look 10-15 lbs lighter than I really do.

I turn around and look at my butt. The little pink patterned dress is riding high, but cute, I think.

I’m mystified as I return to the front porch where most of us are gathered, eating potluck and cake.

“”Ummmmmm,” Polly says. She nods her head at another sister. “Look at Barbara. Now that’s the kind of top you need to be wearing at our age.”

I look at Barbara. It’s a nice pale yellow top, but it’s tucked up under her breasts and flounces out and around over her stomach and hips down to her mid thighs. To me, it looks like a yellow boy scout tent. Barbara is a pretty girl and can wear anything, but I have always seen myself as a Looker with a tiny waist that I like to emphasize.

“These tight dresses,” Polly says as she looks at my middle, “show off the rolls around our waists.”

She draws back in her chair, narrows her eyes, looks at me and says, “Are you wearing a bra?”

I look down and imagine that my ‘huge’ breasts must be dragging low, placidly curled up on my belly ball stomach.

Another sister or sister in law backs Polly and her observations about me in this dress. Another woman chimes in to mention another fault of mine in this little pink stretchy dress and tsk tsk, I should have thought a bit more before I put it on.

Another woman from down the mountain adds that I usually dress like people dress in my little town, kind of like a hick.

Their comments are all meant to help me, they assure me, with sympathy in their tone, but I am kind of confounded and crushed. I seem to be ‘It’ today. All the Lady Chickens are picking on and pecking at me.

“Someone has to tell you,” Polly reiterates. “It’s a kindness.”

I sigh and hang my head.

Later, I corner my son-in-law Charles and my ex boyfriend Bill, in the kitchen.

“Do I look awful in this dress? ” I ask.

The two guys look surprised.

Charles says, “You look great! Remember, I told you earlier in the hall how hot you look, that you look even better than you did years ago.”

Bill seems puzzled and adds, “I think you look real good. Why?”

Why? Well my friends…here’s why I asked the men for their opinion of my dress.

It’s because women see other women differently then men see women. And, that is the truth. We women hold ourselves to high and impossible standards of beauty.

But..Most men honestly don’t seem to see our flaws.

Can you imagine? Yes. It’s true. Men by and large are very simple and sweet. They don’t notice our flopping thighs, our meandering butts or the flapping, dimpled fat on our arms. If they find us as a woman attractive, they find us attractive. If they don’t, well frankly, they don’t even see us.

A few days ago I went to a small store in town that I frequent a lot. It is run by a very religious couple with five kids. The father is around thirty five or forty and he is quite handsome.

As I was trotting up the steps to their store, he happened to come out on the stoop. He looked at me and obviously without thinking, shouted, “Hi, Hot Stuff!”

I almost swallowed my spit backwards. I’m still Hot Stuff??

Grinning all the way home I also laughed out loud. Sang along with the radio. Swung and shook my sweet little body on the car seat.

I am thinking of that man now and of my son-in-law and my ex-boyfriend and I am elated. Thank gosh men see us differently than we women have been trained see each other!

Men are visual and they are attracted to a woman visually, but obviously, they see what they want to see and I say ‘God Save The Queen’ and ‘Thank you God’ and ‘Pass the beans’. I love men’s simple acceptance of what physically is, and I love  their blind eye, and I am so relieved that I only need to look perfect around my lady friends.

But hey…just to cause trouble, I am gonna’ wear that little pink dress, no bra and a party hat to the next family gathering and we’ll see what kind of hell breaks out with the women.

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God In The House

“GOD IS IN THE HOUSE”

This is one of my ART MOJO PAINTINGS….where I put Energy into my art as I am painting it…to fill your house with Good Energy of whatever kind you ask for.  When you purchase paintings you email me the Mojo you want in them and why, and I write a special, extra Mojo on the back, just for you and ’slap’ it into the picture along with the others already there. To see all the art work or to purchase please see:    http://www.artmojos.com

THESE ARE ALL ORIGINAL PAINTINGS (not prints)

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Phone Sessions With Venus

“I have been to lots of readers, but you are the best, Venus. You are honest and tell the truth and give good advice. You also really do read minds, talk to dead people and move good energies in our favor. Just wanted you to know I appreciate you. Penny D.”

To see how I work, testimonials and my rates please go to: http://www.godisalwayshappy.com

(PS  You will notice I made myself look 25 with red hair in my painting. Oh well, an artist has free rein with their creativity, right? x Venus)

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*You may have also noticed that I have finally learned how to put photos on my blog! Yes, it’s taken me several days and I have worn myself out but I am so excited I feel like I am spinning with some kind of formerly unknown and under used brilliance. I must have had the technical type of brains all along, but where were they?

Just wait until I start putting photos up of my mother and siblings! Good thing they don’t read my blog.

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WINNER

Winner of  a 10 minute free phone session with me:   Stacie Prince This offer is valid through June 14th, 2010, after that it is null and void.

To have a chance to WIN, please sign up for this blog where it says ‘FEED’ and sign up on my website for the Newsletter. http://www.godisalwayshappy.com

I draw a name every week on my Tuesday ‘Dear Venus radio Show’ ( http://www.contacttalkradio.com)

and with every new Blog and whenever I send out an Email Newsletter

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Posted in Family, Looking Good, Mysteries in Life, Parties and Fun, Photos, Relationships, Wierd Stuff, Words from Venus | 8 Comments »

Mother and the Plumber

Friday, September 11th, 2009

I’m sitting outside on the patio under a leafy tree at my favorite coffee shop, talking with Alan.

Alan is an architect who has been helping my brother Jim with his restaurant project. Alan has long gray/blonde hair that hangs in a messy horse’s tail down his back. He flicks the hot ash from his Camel cigarette and says, “When Jim was at my house one day, the water in the kitchen faucet turned on by itself and I said, ‘What the heck?’

“Then,” he continues, “awhile later another faucet downstairs turns on and starts a flood and again I said, ‘What the heck? Are there spirits around here trying to tell us something?’”

Alan pauses and sucks his white Camel like a doobie.

“I thought, ‘Does this mean this whole project with Jim’s new restaurant is big money down the drain?’”

“Hmmm,” I say.

Jim and Alan, after a year of trying to get a loan and borrowing money from friends and family to build a new restaurant, have been denied. The banks tease but they just won’t loan. Jim is caught up in the collapse of the economy. He’s now at home with the cotton blankets pulled over his head, in the musky dark and in despair.

Alan breathes some smoke and I breathe some smokey air.

We are both silent. Because of his illness and the economy, my brother Art may lose his jewelry shop which is right next door to the coffee shop and the coffee shop itself is teetering on the edge of extinction.

When I go home, I tell my ex, Bill, about Jim.

Bill says, “Sometimes I wake up in the night and I wonder who I am. I wonder where I am. Am I back in my childhood or am I forward in time somewhere? Am I on another planet? It takes me awhile to remember who I am and what part of my life I’m in. It’s hard to get re-oriented, but once I do, I’m OK.” (more…)

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Posted in Family, Mysteries in Life, Stories about Mother, Things I'm Not Good At, Words from Venus | 6 Comments »

MOTHER HAS A PLAN

Saturday, July 11th, 2009

Polly calls.

“We have to do something! Mother got up this morning and there was a big rat swimming around and around in her toilet bowl and she couldn’t get him out and then she did get him out with the toilet brush and then her dog grabbed him and ate him and Mom says that somehow the toilet seat got dismantled and torn up and she feels really bad about the rat getting eaten, he was trying so hard to survive.”

Polly sucks air and goes on. “She has lost her blood pressure pills for three days now and that’s very dangerous and you can’t find anything in that place it’s such a mess and there are vast dangling cobwebs on her windows, have you seen them, her housekeeper is no good but Mom won’t fire her because she likes her and Becky has ripped up all the rugs digging for squirrels under the house and we need to replace the floors with vinyl, Mom agrees and Mom just keeps eating that same crock pot soup that cooks all the time and she never dumps it and starts over and you have to do something and right now, Venus.”

I say, “I’m not coming over there and clean that house. I am not cleaning up all the blood and guts from all the dismembered field creatures that her cat brings in. I am not. ”

I know my abilities and housecleaning is not one of them.

Polly jags off onto another topic about how she, Polly, fired her website person and she is now doing the site herself and how she was talking to so and so this famous person and her grandkids are always over at her place and she can’t get anything done and she keeps jigging and jagging from topic to topic and I can’t stand it. Trying to follow her mind makes me feel crazy and I finally  yell, “Shut up! Shut up!”

“Arrgh?” she says.

“What’s wrong with you, are you ADD?!!  You never stay with one line of thought. I can’t stand it,” I say and I am not kind about it.

And later that day the results from the CAT scan our mother had a week or so, come in. (more…)

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Posted in Family, Mysteries in Life, Relationships, Stories about Mother, Things I'm Not Good At, Wierd Stuff, Words from Venus | 12 Comments »

LEXI’S WORLD

Thursday, June 25th, 2009

Lexi, my six year old granddaughter, is in trouble, again.

Her mother tells me, “Lexi is at the age where she is fascinated with people’s rear ends. And, she has her own computer. Not a good mix. The other day she came running into the kitchen and asked me to come and look at something.

“I went into her room and she led me to her computer, pointed at the screen and said, “Why are they doing this?”

I peered closer and oh my gosh! I said, ‘Lexi! Where did you get this?!’ She said she had gone to Google and typed in something like BumBums.com!”

“Mooom!” Summer wails to me, “It was some Butt Fetish website and there were all kinds of weird things sticking out of people’s bums! And I had to explain to Lexi why people would do this and what the meaning was!”

I’m laughing. I can’t help it.

“Mom, Lexi is coming up to visit you for awhile and I want you to watch her on the computer. I don’t know what she might think to look up, next.”

“Gee,” I say, “I never would have thought of looking for something like bum bums on the net!”

Last time Lexi stayed with me for awhile, it was interesting. Of course.

She looks at me one day and says, “You’re looking a little old, BaBa.” (more…)

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Posted in Family, Mysteries in Life, Relationships, Wierd Stuff | 3 Comments »

VENUS GETS HIT BY ‘LIGHTENING’ AT LUNCH

Tuesday, June 9th, 2009

We’re watching lightening fritz through the sky and hammer the hills around us. This is Southern California and a lightening storm is a novel sight.

Eight of us Art Guild Girls are sitting outside on a stone terrace, next to a undulating golf course, having lunch. The sky may be full of danger but as I am soon to find, there is more emotional danger at the  table.

We ‘girls’ range in age from 40 to 80 plus, years old. We are the President of the Guild, on down through the ranks to The Sunshine Girl, which is me.

We do all the work that keeps the art meetings happening in town, we bring the demo artists that perform for all the local artists once a month, we bring in money, award scholarships to High School kids, keep the Art Library going, put on art shows and etc. We deserve a lunch at the end of the fiscal year and I have finally convinced my Guild friends that we do indeed need one.

The ladies ask me to order the wine. I order a bottle of red shiraz named ‘Layer Cake.’ How can one not order something with a name like that? And, I order a nice chardonnay.

We’re having a fun time. Oh sure, one lady has to tell us a story about a cat that she took on a trip that kept disappearing and we have to follow that darn cat through almost every state in the union. I keep saying, ‘So did it all work out OK?’ and she keeps saying, ‘I’m not through with the story yet,’ and everyone rolls their eyes and takes another lick of ‘Layer Cake.’

We’re eating and drinking and laughing and I’m thinking, ‘Oh, this lunch was such a good idea. We are all so happy together.’  Suddenly, ‘Ardath’ who is lost in her 70’s somewhere, looks at me and says says in her high-pitched wavey voice, “Oh Venus..you have such a won-der-ful personality! You have a fab-u-lous per-son-ality!”

I’m grinning and thanking her, “Thank you Ardath, that’s so sweet, thank you..” when she adds loudly, ‘But, that’s all you’ve got!”

“Whaat?”

“Are you always this way?” she asks.

“Whaaat?”

Then, Ardath leans across the table and looks at me intently, as she shouts, “Are you Bi-po-lar?!” (more…)

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Posted in Art and Beauty, Mysteries in Life, Parties and Fun, Relationships, Screaming Hysterics, Wierd Stuff, Words from Venus | 13 Comments »

Venus Has The ‘Roofies’

Monday, March 9th, 2009

When I disappear from the blog for awhile, you know something is going on, don’t you.

Well, yes it is. I have ‘The Roofies.’

Let me explain. When I was a kid I had chicken pox.  When this happens, later in life, the virus known as herpes zoster, can flare up and cause an exceedingly painful condition called shingles. That’s what I have. Shingles.

It’s been agonizing, with my skin burning like it’s on fire, a deep aching pain in my upper right back and right arm and part of my chest and my mind in figurative shreds. I have sat and cried with the pain. I am slowly getting better but at the height of it, I was doing odd things.

I try and tell people what is wrong with me and I say things like, “I have Syphilis. No, no,wait,  I mean I have shingles!”

Or, I say, “I have Sphincter. No wait, that’s not right!”

Or, I whine,  ”I have The Spindles!”

People are amazed and transfixed by my revelations.

I keep thinking, ‘What is the matter with my mind?’ My brother in law, Dr. Ron, says I can’t remember the word because I am in deep denial. Maybe so. I think maybe it is the pain and maybe the anti-viral drug that has loosened up all my mental strings.

Finally, I think, ‘I have to remember the right word for this. I must, I must.’

 I get a bright idea. I think of the shingles on a roof! Clever, don’t you think? I say over and over to myself, ‘Think of roof, roof, roof.’

Now I find myself announcing, “I have The Roofies!”

After about a week and a half I drag myself to the grocery store. I grab a cart and meander slowly up and down the isles collecting things.  30 minutes later, an older lady grabs my basket, shakes it then leans into and starts digging through my groceries. I am a bit amazed.

The woman says, “Someone stole my basket! I’ve looked in every basket in this damn store and YOU are the one who stole my basket!”

My head bobbles on the stalk of my neck as I lean forward and look into the basket. Umm. I do see a few things that I didn’t put there. Oh my gosh. It’s not my basket.

The woman is trying to be pleasant but she is filled with righteous anger and yellow pissiness. I figure she has probably been searching stranger’s baskets for at least 20 minutes.

I say, “I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”

I almost say, “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. Please forgive me, I have syphilis.” I bet ya’ she would have run off if I had said that and left me with the basket!

But, I don’t say it and the woman makes me pull all my groceries out of the cart and I have to pile them high up in my arms where they slip and slide. There is a mighty weight of them weighing on my painful arm.

I sneak off to search for my basket and indeed, I too must traverse almost every isle before I find it. It sits alone looking embarrassed for me. Thank goodness no one has run off with it.

I belong at home until this pimpled, burning weirdness passes and I can than go out in public where I won’t embarrass myself by stealing things or telling people I have syphilis. 

(Please, my friends, I beg you, don’t tell me any horrid shingles stories. People feel it’s their duty to tell these to me and it makes me crazy. Never tell a sick person bad news! My sister in law tells me that people actually say things to her and my brother Art who has had the acute leukemia, things like ‘Oh, my aunt had that and she died!’ ………..Remember it’s a far better and happier job to uplift people than to slam them down. Always scatter Good Wishes wherever you go.)

Thanks for listening to my ‘woeful’, but passing, tale!!

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*ANNOUNCEMENT: VENUS IS MOVING HER “DEAR VENUS SHOW’ TO ANOTHER INTERNET STATION

Starting April 7th, 2009 at 2PM Pacific/5PM eastern, “The Dear Venus Show” will be moving from HayHouse Radio to www.contacttalkradio.com.  (Please make a note of it.) Also, please note that I am hoping for a better time slot so this day and time may change. Make sure you are on the BLOG FEED so you are automatically notified when this happens.

*CALL IN NUMBER FOR  LIVE RADIO READINGS IN THE US AND CANADA: 1-877-230-3062

(I’m still working on the world wide call in number.)

The Good News: I will be live on air FOUR times a month, with few commercial breaks. This means more time to chat with you.

I will be taking your LIVE CALLS and doing FREE readings for you over the phone lines.

I will draw one name per show for a FREE 15 minute PHONE SESSION with me.

All shows will be Archived and will be FREE to access.   iTunes also available

***I need your help. Please tell or email all your friends about my show and new station. I need a good sized audience in order to be able to keep the show on this new station. Thank You for your help!

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*VENUS DOES PRIVATE PHONE SESSIONS: Please see my rates and what I do at: www.godisalwayshappy.com

A Testimonial: “After our phone call and your chat in the reluctant man’s head; the man who was avoiding me, remember? I saw him today and he said, ‘I am so lucky, I’ve seen you four times today.’ And, he gave me a hug!”

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FLOW DREAMING TELE-CLASSES WITH VENUS AND SUMMER: FOR MONEY PROSPERITY AND ABUNDANCE 

(We all work together to get you in the flow and to help make your wishes come true. Venus looks into you and concentrates for 2-3 days on you and your specially chosen wish, before the class.)

March 14th-Saturday, 10AM Pacific. (A few spots left.)

April 18th, Saturday, 10AM Pacific. 

 See www.flowdreaming.com for testimonials, information and to sign up for a class

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*TWO WINNERS FOR A FREE 15 MINUTE PHONE READING FROM VENUS.

(To be eligible, you must be signed up through my site. (www.godisalwayshappy.com  Go to the home page and click on  ”Free Sessions and More”. Then also put your email address on this blog FEED, up and to the right. Thank you.)

WINNERS: Khrysztian Miller and Kar Decker.   Offer good through March 16th, 2009 After that, null and void





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Posted in Family, Mysteries in Life, Screaming Hysterics, Wierd Stuff, Words from Venus | 30 Comments »

We’re All In This Together…Wherever That Is

Sunday, December 28th, 2008

It’s a sunny Sunday and we’re at the coffee shop. There are six of us, all art friends. We’re sitting at one of those high round tables, eating fancy bread and drinking tea.

Pat the oil painter, looks at the rest of us girls and the lone fellow and says, “I need your help. I think something must be wrong with me.”

The six of us lean toward Pat, concerned.

Pat is a wonderful and well known painter. She is also rather quiet and reserved in manner so we don’t have any clue as to what the problem might be.

“You know Joe G.” she says.

Of course we do. He is a very famous wild life painter who lives up in the mountains.

“Well,” Pat says, “I was in the grocery store the other day and I saw him over by the vegetables. I trotted over to say hello. He looked great, you know in that long white pony tail he has and the short gray beard and he was wearing a really bright, red shirt.

I leaned toward him and I said, and I can’t believe I said this, but I said, ‘You look so…’ and I meant to say Christmasy, you know, because of his beautiful red shirt, but what I said was…”

Pat pauses and we wait.

“What I said was, ‘you look so…chicken.’ !!”

We all gasp.

“Yes!” Pat is practically crying, “Yes. I said ‘you look so…chicken.’ And, I don’t know why I said that. And, I don’t know where that word came from. I meant to say Christmasy!

“Joe got all upset with me and he said, ‘You think I look… chicken??’

He was clearly angry about it and I just stood there and looked at him and then I took a few steps back. I mean, I didn’t know how to explain why I had called him a chicken. I had no reason. So, I was mute.

“He kept saying, ‘I look chicken?’

Pat looks at us, pleading. ” Help me…What’s wrong with me? Do you think there is something wrong with me?”

I have my head down on the table. I am laughing so hard I have almost dunked my head in my tea and in the bread plate. All the other ladies and the fellow are laughing, too. And whooping.

When we all calm down a bit, we try and reassure her.

The man friend sitting next to me says that once he was getting ready to lead a group of fifty people on a motorcycle ride into the desert.  He was the head man and all the other cyclists were behind him, waiting for him to start up.

But, when it came time to lead them across the flats he says he couldn’t remember how to start his motorcycle.

“I’d had that motorcycle for years and I could start it in my sleep, but for some reason I couldn’t remember how to start it then. I tried and tried and tried. Finally, I looked behind me and all those people had turned their motorcycles around and left.”

Judy tells us how she came home from grocery shopping, brought all the food in from the car and put it away. Then, she sat down and had a cup of tea. Finally, her husband looked at her and said, “So, when are you going to turn the car off?”

I relate how about ten years ago, a man friend was at my house busily working on a lap top computer.

“I said, ‘So, when did you get that computer?’

“He looked at me strangely. ‘It’s your computer,’  he said. ‘You bought it several weeks ago.’

‘Get off it! I did not,’ I replied.

“He looked scared.

“‘Yes….you….did,’ he said.

“I went over and looked at that laptop up close. I touched it. I even smelled it. I had no memory of that computer. At all.

“Than I was scared!

“Well, it’s been ten years since that happened and I haven’t seemed to have regressed into senility, so I don’t know how to explain that lapse.”

…….

Maybe as artists, we have all been smelling too much paint?

Or, maybe the truth is, that all of us, all people, live in different worlds? We’re each off in our heads, in our own reality somewhere and it doesn’t always jibe with what everybody else agrees is ‘real’? And, maybe sometimes when we are trying to function ‘here’ we are really only half here…or we are just some kind of phantom of ourselves, operating without ‘us’?

If it’s not Alzheimer’s, it’s a puzzle.

What do you think?

*By the way, I love it when you leave your comments directly on this blog. I do read and personally answer all your comments through my email. (Sometimes I get behind, but eventually, I answer.) Some of you are so astute and some of you are so much fun that it is a waste of your talent to not amuse everyone who reads the blog. And, I love all the compliments, too! Thank you for reading.   Venus

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**WINNER OF A FREE 15 MINUTE PHONE SESSION WITH VENUS       * Judith Beverly*  Offer good through Dec. 31, 2008. After that null and void.

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Posted in Art and Beauty, Mysteries in Life, Parties and Fun, Relationships, Screaming Hysterics, Wierd Stuff, Words from Venus | 27 Comments »