The Laughing Club Party

Welcome to my Laughing Club Party.

I have decided that we all need a laugh. To that end, here is the note I have sent out to my family and various friends:

“Please come to THE WOMEN’S LAUGHING CLUB PARTY at Venus’ house, Jan 31st, 2009 at 11:30 AM.

“Let’s get together and laugh and laugh and laugh for our GOOD HEALTH and FRIENDSHIP!

“Please bring a dish (potluck) and something to drink. Wine would be nice but you can bring whatever moves you.

THE PLAN: We will eat and drink and whoop it up. For those of you who aren’t shy, please have a STORY in mind; something that has happened in your life or someone else’s life that is really funny! You will tell the tale and we will laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh. We will roll on the floor and laugh some more. We will kick the furniture and spill the wine.

“And, then we will laugh some more for no reason at all.

“This is an all woman party, just to see how it goes. If we like it, let’s have more of them and often, hosted by whoever feels fit enough to host a bunch of crazy acting, loose laughing women!

“Please RSVP by Jan. 27th, so I know how many chairs and plates to set out that may get broken.

“I hope to see you!

Venus”

…………….

Well. I have had a tremendous response. People are calling me and saying, ‘Oh, my friend wants to come, she desperately wants to come, can I bring my friend?’

I say ‘sure. What the hey.’

My brother Art with the leukemia, the one who’s car got smashed and who’s house burned down, says he wants to come, that he needs the laugh. I say “OK, you do need some laughs, but if you comeĀ  you have to wear a dress and a lady’s wig. You can be our Honorary Woman.”

My friend Karen in Florida, demanded that I send her the invitation, then called me and said, “I love it! I am already calling people to have a Laughing Club Party at my house!”

Maybe we will have Laughing Club Parties all over the world?? What fun.

I’m going to start my party with this story, which I admit is really juvenile humor, but that’s part of the fun, right?

I’ll be telling the ladies, “Awhile back a friend of mine named Billy came over to see me at my house. He’s about fifty. He called me to come out on the front lawn beside my pool.

“He sidled up next to me, leaned over and whispered, “Got something really funny here. It’s a fart machine.”

“He glanced over at my pool where Paul The Pool Man was busily scooping leaves. He was scooping slowly. He doesn’t like to rush. He’s a big man, maybe in his 60′s with a great ruff of gray beard and flying head hair and he wears faded overalls with a bib.

‘Got an idea,’ Billy said, grinning like a nine year old. ‘This is remote control.’

“He carefully held up some kind of small box and something that looked like a TV clicker.

“Paul had his back to us, scooping the pool and gazing up into the great pine tree, the tree he has come to hate, that hangs over the water.

“‘Watch this,’ Billy whispered.

“He ran over to the grouping of deck chairs just behind Paul, put the fart box under a cushion and skeedaddled back to me.

“‘Hehehehe…watch.’

“Paul The Pool Man bent to scoop some twigs from the water by hand.

“FARRRRRRT…OOOOOHEEEE…PTU!”

“Billy had pushed the remote.

“Paul didn’t blink. He didn’t even look our way.

“Billy and I broke into screeching laughter.

“Paul leaned to the side and put the pool pole down.

“BBAAAARRRPH!”

“Billy and I collapsed with howling glee.

“Actually, I’d hit the grass ‘first fart’ and couldn’t get up. Whenever I laugh, my legs go weak and I collapse wherever I am. I can’t get off the ground until I stop laughing.

Billy and I were choking with laughter, roaring with mirth and silly merriment but again, Paul The Pool Man never even looked our way.

“FAAARRRP! WHEEEEE!”

Every time Paul made an adjustment in his methods, he passed thunderous ‘gas.’

I was screaming with laughter, my nose face down in the dirt and muck, unable to even crawl to my knees. Billy was dragging me by an arm, across the lawn, trying to get me to stand up.

Paul looked skyward.

It went like this until Billy and I finally tired ourselves out, gave up and limped into the house.”

………

Well, OK, maybe it will be funnier when I tell it in person? Maybe I should wait until the general hilarity at the party has taken hold?

My sister, Candy, will be telling some Grandma Stories. These are true tales about my mother’s mother that just rip us to pieces with hysteria whenever she retells them at family parties.She does the voice, she does the mannerisms, she does the body movements of everyone in the stories and we absolutely almost choke ourselves laughing. Candy should be on stage.

I’ve been telling the ladies that are coming to the Laughing Party that if they have pee problems when they laugh that they had better make sure and wear their diaper pants. They have assured me that they will.

“You’re not ruining my furniture,” I tell them.

Gee! I wish YOU could come to my party!

Do you have any funny stories about yourself or your friends that you can tell us? If so, please put them in the ‘comments’ section (below) so we can all laugh together and have our own world-wide Laughing Party!

…………………………………………………………………………………………

*WINNER OF A FREE 15 MINUTE PHONE SESSION WITH VENUS: *Ernest Brenner* Offer valid through Fri. Jan 23rd, 2009, after that null and void.

13 thoughts on “The Laughing Club Party

  1. Hey guys,

    Thursday I had one of the most embarrassing moments of my life!

    I was about to take a shower but got distracted and decided oh I’ll vacuum quickly and giggled to myself as I was not wearing pants just a sweat shirt socks and undies…..smiling to myself how funny it would be if someone showed up at the door while I was vacuuming. Oh yah…..Rich forgot to tell me he had a delivery coming today as I happily vacuum I can see a shadow of a man at the front door and yup he is looking thru the glass door and oh yah gets a great view of me vacuuming in my undies! Let’s just say I haven’t gone for a bikini wax for a while. And oh yah he did not leave until I franticly ran and put pants on and answered the door! Welcome to my life!?!
    p.s. He was around 20 and very handsome!

  2. My sister had just met her long-term boyfriend and was in that awkward getting-to-know-you, put-your-best-foot-forward stage that comes with dating someone new. The guy had a dog that he adored, and my sister, who likes animals but has never had a dog, bought the dog a very big, very solid and heavy rubber ball. She started playing “catch” with the dog, and when she threw the ball, she hit the dog smack in the head and knocked him unconcious. This always make me giggle every time I think of this story.

    Another story: I was brought up Catholic and forced to attend church each and every Sunday, no exceptions. The only fun I had was after mass, when my mom and my friends’ moms would talk and gossip, and then we could run around and see what kind of trouble to get into. SOme of the funnest things were running up to the microphones on the alter and yelling “HEY!” and putting the altar candles out by spitting on our fingers and pinching the wicks. One Sunday we found that the little bowls that were right beside the doors that were filled with holy water were getting low, and we decided to go over to the holy water urn to fill them. Only, we turned on the spigot, and it got stuck, and ten gallons of Holy water poured out all over the floor while we panicked and tried to stop it. We were certain we were going to hell for that, so we fled to the car and hoped no one caught us. Um, so far so good?

  3. This isn’t a funny story per se. However, my girlfriend and I have decided to make lemonade out of lemons.

    We are both receiving/and have received extensive dental work in the past year. Removing amalgam fillings. Crowns. Braces. Root canal. Veneers. Surgical steel post implants. Between the 2 of us, we have experienced a full-dental makeover.

    We have made it a contest to see who will spend the most on their mouth. We are lucky to have stumbled upon good looking (and competent) dentists and endodontists. This makes the time we spend in the “chair” worthwhile. Funny, it is socially acceptable to have a young guy work his appendages in my mouth for an hour or more.

    We even laugh about dentists being some covert “S&M” network, or something. “Little Shop of Horrors” is on to something. The handsome young guy, with his delightful assistant, both inserting appendages into my mouth for over an hour. I must be some kind of woman to require the attention of 2 people. Bite Block please.

    Or is the dentist experience like Oliver Twist: Can you rinse me some more sir?

  4. Venus,
    You really have to share some of the stories from your Laughing Party. We could have an “On-LIne Laughing Party”. You know, this could actually last quite a while once the laughter becomes contagious (like it does). I would love to see a picture of your brother in a dress and wig too!!! Laughter is such GOOD medicine. Thanks for sharing with us, you always make me laugh.
    Rita

  5. i think this is a great idea. lots of people dont have much to do . and that alone can be depressing in these times having a comedy or a laughing party would help lots of people feel like tomarrow is a brand new day not just another day. and go on to find the funny story for the next party.

  6. i went out on a date when i was 6 months pregnant with my now 3 year old son. the date was with my husband jim.i called my mom the next monday and i told her about it.i said i went out on this date with this guy.he was so nice.he even wore pants for me ,he opened the car door for me .and took me to see this funny movie called hitch and opened the door for me .he bought popcorn and a soda and candy.then we went to this italian restaraunt and he opened the car door for me . and then i walked a little slow and like a penguin. so he said to me hurry up slow poke. and then i realised i was with my husband.my mom was going to yell at me she thought i was talking about someone else.she said you cant date your married lol .im always doing that to her and she always falls for it

  7. I’ve got one for you!!

    My son, who is now all grown up and the father of two, was 16 years old when he happened to walk into the kitchen one day when a girl friend & I were visiting. Her daughter had just had a baby boy and the baby was going to be circumcised the next day, Grandma was kind of worried about the whole ‘ordeal’. I was just telling her that when my son was circumcised he was taking a nap and didn’t even wake up, it seemed to be no big deal. Well my son who was at the sink getting a drink of water heard this and started choking and gasping for air, the whole time throwing hate looks at me. Since I only have 1 son, he knew I was talking about him but I didn’t see the big deal. When he could breath again, this mild mannered child became a raging lunatic! He was practically in tears as he kept asking how I could have condoned such a thing to be done to him! And he wanted to know why in the world I’d never told him and beside all that, what was he going to tell Laura, his girl friend?? I said that I assumed that he knew, after all, he was 16 years old and very active in sports and showering with all the other boys. Well that only made matters escalate, evidently that implied that he stared at other boys when they were in the shower. And as far as telling Laura, well I didn’t see why he had to tell Laura anything. And if Laura were in a position to notice, she should figure it out on her own. The whole thing seemed ridiculous to me. He marched out saying that he couldn’t believe I would do that to my own child and then never tell him about it and added that he really never wanted to have anything to do with me again.

    I found this odd, he had never been the type to blow up like that and he’d always seemed to be very loving towards me, how could our entire relationship end over something like this? When I could catch up with him over the next couple of days, usually when he would be grazing for food, I would say things like ‘I only thought I was doing the best for you’ and ‘other mothers were doing it to their babies’. Any comment from me seemed to only make him hate me more. I was beside myself.

    Three days into this, I came home from getting groceries and I was in the kitchen un-loading everything. Ryan was in the living room visiting with Laura, his girl friend. I don’t usually try to listen in but this conversation seemed very emotional. Ryan was trying to tell her something and was having a real hard time getting it out, he was very upset but felt she deserved to know. I couldn’t believe he was doing this, I thought he was loosing his mind and I was pretty sure Laura would agree with me at some point. I stepped in and asked him to please come and help me with something in the kitchen. Luckily he obliged and came into the kitchen. I couldn’t stand it any longer and just jumped right in and asked ‘are you trying to tell her about your circumcision??’ Yes, he felt she needed to know. She had made it clear to him that someday she wanted children and since now, because of me, he couldn’t have children she may want to stop seeing him. HUH?? I was really lost now but then it hit me. You dork! I didn’t sterilize you, I had you circumcised!! You can have children, you are 16 and didn’t know the meaning of the word circumcised??? He was very relieved to say the least and I was very concerned, how many other things did he not know?

    Today he is a Major in the Airforce and in charge of some pretty important areas surrounding our National Security. It scares me….

    Have a wonderful party!!!

  8. I work with this guy that went to Hawaii a few months ago. He went to the North Shore on Oahu, which has very large waves. He had never surfed before, so it probably wasn’t the best place for a beginner. He was told to watch out for the strong currents that could pull you a long way out into the ocean. So he is paddling out to catch a wave, when he gets caught in one of these currents. He is paddling like crazy because the current is carrying him toward a cement breaker wall. He is really freaking & he sees the lifeguard on shore yelling, but he can’t hear him. He is frantically paddling, getting closer to the wall, then he finally hears what the lifeguard is yelling, “Stand up, stand up”, which he did, he was only is 3 feet of water. Then he had to walk back to shore where approximately 100 people all appaulded him.

  9. I LOVE this idea! I am going to first try this with my kids and husband at dinner, and maybe include some fun friends we have for a Sunday dinner. I need to think up some stories but I love the idea of a Ladies Laughing Luncheon…THANK YOU VENUS!

  10. Its amazing how little we laugh. It’s even hard to think of something funny. I wish I could come to the laughing party but I will be on a cruise ship whoopin’ it up with 1,000 senior citizens, yes, a sea of gray hair and walkers. My friend had invited me to one of those sex toy parties on the same day. She got a good laugh out of my alternative date.

    Please let me know when the next laughing party is! In the mean time…I’ll try to get a line on where exactly where I left my laugh! Love you Venus! Janet

  11. My son and I were out to dinner one night, when he was almost 15. He had newly received his driver’s permit. We were coming back to the car to drive home. I naturally went to the driver’s side, having been the driver up until his permit. He coughed to let me know my error, and so I said, “Oh right, you’re the driver.” And as I went to the passenger side, I started whining, and said, “Now I get to be the kid and you can be the parent.” And I told him I was going to be REALLY annoying, whiney, demanding, etc. And HE could be the patient parent. So we get in the car and he turns to me and says, “Just don’t expect breastfeeding!”
    Another time, my husband asked him to do a chore. He said he’d try. My husband said, “You know what Yoda says about trying. There is no try. There is only doing.” Devin turned to him and said, “Dad, I don’t take advice from a puppet!” Thank God for funny children that keep us laughing!

  12. Venus, here is one of the funniest true stories I have ever heard. A young African-American woman who worked with a friend and former co-worker of mine told my friend what happened at her church one Sunday:

    The minister was delivering his sermon and looked out upon the congregation and said, “Who of you loves sin?” He repeated for emphasis, “Who of you loves sin?”

    A woman raised her hand.

    “Sister?” asked the surprised minister, “Are you telling us you love sin?”

    “Oh!” The woman exclaimed, “I thought you said gin!”

    At that point, the minister lost control of his congregation. There was so much hilarity that they had to get up and go outside to lean against the church until they could find the strength to get in their cars and go home.

    I hope you enjoyed this. I enjoy telling it from time to time, and just a few weeks ago told it at a dinner with friends.

    Three cheers for the laughing club!

    Love,

    Palma Lee

    P.S. Loved the story about the grandkids and the male babysitters.

  13. When my brothers and I were young kids, our parents took us to a restaurant. One of my brothers needed to go to the washroom, so he went on his own to go find it. After some time went by, while the rest of us were sitting at the table, we heard my brothers voice call out “would somebody please come and wipe my bum!”
    I once had a job as a letter carrier for the postal service walking door to door. I was walking up a driveway towards a house, when a small dog (pomeranian I think) from next door came running towards me, barking aggressively and ready to attack. When it got about 2 feet from me, a cat ran up behind the dog and jumped onto the dogs back. The dog screamed, and ran home. The cat,who lives where I was delivering, rubbed up against me and purred!
    Great idea Venus! I used to ask my friends to tell embarassing true stories when sitting around the campfire. Maybe I’ll start a laughing club too.
    Linda

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