My Mother (At 86 years old her teeth are real)
It’s 85 degrees on my mother’s porch. My mother and I are sitting here in lawn chairs, sweltering and sticky even though we have the silver awning rolled out overhead.
My mother is dressed in her loose orange wool pants (worn backwards, I notice) and a long sleeved fleecy top that matches nothing in her eclectic closet. She wipes her forehead with the back of her hand.
“It’s so hot,” she says. “I’m so hot. It’s hard to remember that it’s winter.”
I suggest she take off all the winter clothes she’s wearing and find a pair of shorts. She ambles off to do so.
I’m hot, too. My jeans grab my legs like a pair of hot hands and my short sleeved blouse just isn’t short enough. I reach under it, un-hook my bra, then slide another hand up my sleeve and pull the bra completly off. Ahhhh! Comfort. I kick off my shoes and sling the bra to dangle over the porch railing. This is how I lose so many of my bras and shoes. I forget where I leave them.
We have a pot of hot steeping tea and two cups on the glass table in front of us. I have come to chat with my mother and apparently, to also have my leaves read. My Mother is a wonderful tea leaf reader. She sees amazing things and the woman is always right. She is spot on and she is nice about it. If she sees something that an ordinary person thinks is disgusting, my mother makes them feel like they are really lucky and indeed, they are.
Mother shuffles out of the house and onto the deck. She’s now wearing her blue see-through plastic garden shoes with socks, a pair of old stripped shorts from the 1950’s and yet another blouse that doesn’t go with anything in her closet.
She sits, ‘kerplunk!’ in the chair next to mine.
“I have to practice reading leaves,” she reminds me, “because you Venus, set me up to read leaves at the Historical Society Tea! I hope I can still remember how to do it. So, I’m going to practice on you, Venus.”
“I’m not worried,” I say. “You have the talent and you can’t lose that, even though you are Profoundly Deaf.”
Mother has been labeled ‘Profoundly Deaf” by the local hearing specialist and she does indeed have a difficult time hearing anything, but she can always hear when I whisper something about her to my sisters! We find this very puzzling, but then my mother can do many things that are out of the ordinary. She could grow gnat wings and fly over the porch railing if it struck her to do so.
Today, we sip our black tea rather quickly because even though we have dressed down it is still darn hot on the porch.
I pour most of the dregs of the tea into my saucer, then swish the leaves around in my cup with the rest of the tea and hand the china cup to my mother. I wait with high anticipation as Mother peers into it.
Generally, I get a reading that goes something like this: “You have many ideas and are building many things. You’re taking off. You have some new job idea. There’s lots of money in your cup!”
Sometimes I get a long silence and then an, “Ah Oh.”
That’s when I start to sweat.
I used to get more exciting cups, filled with lovers and sex appeal but I have toned down a bit through the years and generally have my thoughts and actions now on so called ‘Higher Enterprises.’ Duller maybe, but higher.
Today, my mother slings me a zinger.
“Well. There you are Venus. Riding a wild horse! And look! There’s a big wedding bell over your head and you’re trying to get away from it. It’s like you want to get married but you really don’t. You’re still too wild to marry some man. You’re a wild one and none of them have been able to tame you.”
Gulp. Bam. My mother hits the truth of the matter.
I haven’t been married for at least twenty-five years. I’ve been asked many times but I never can say ‘yes.’ Sometimes I think I want to, but I just can’t bring myself to choke out an ‘OK, good idea.’
Even lately, strangely enough,without dating them, I have had several marriage proposals and I think, ‘My, these are darling men and now that I am older and getting even older, wouldn’t it be nice to be all settled down and have a secure life and no more dating ever again?’
But, I just can’t do it. I try, but I just can’t do it. Maybe if I could marry two of them? Or three? That might work.
Even when I was a little kid I always thought I wanted to have two husbands. At once.
Or, maybe I can work out a deal where I know several or more men who adore me and I can see all of them and that will be OK with each of them?
My grandmother did that. My father’s mother was a model in New York with a waist that a man could put his hand’s around. She dyed her hair red and smoked cigarettes when only ‘bad’, ‘wild’ women did those things. She married my grandfather, a wealthy man, thirty-five years older than she was.
My father remembers how when he was a little kid, “Momma was almost kidnapped by White slavers. We were walking down a street,” he used to tell us, “when a long, black limo pulled up beside us and a woman and two men jumped out. They grabbed Momma and tried to drag and push her into the car! Momma and I were screaming and screaming and Momma was fighting and somehow she was able to slip out of her long mink coat and she got away. We both ran screaming down the street. Momma always said it was the White Slavers trying to kidnap her because she was so beautiful!”
Momma always echoed my father’s story, with a “Yes! It was the White Slavers and they used to kidnap beautiful women and those women would never been seen again!”
Momma also had a constant and steady round of lovers. She preferred doctors and she would move them into the house with her, my father and his father, Poppa. My father said he could never understand why Poppa put up with Momma’s lovers, especially living in the same house, but he did.
When I knew her in her 70’s, Poppa had died and she was married to a much younger man, a fellow with slick black hair, who we called Uncle Bob.
When it appealed to her, Grandma would hop up on our kitchen table and do the grinding Tahitian Hula, the one where you bump your hips in mad gyrations. She also liked to belt out a song called ‘Sam, Sam The Lavatory Man’, but no matter how much we kids begged, she would never finish the song. “Your father won’t let me,” she would say piously.
Poppa had an interesting background, too. His father and his many uncles were Real Gun Slingers. They lived and died by the gun. They also had a habit, in their 80’s, I’m told, of leaping onto their horses. This is how my great grandfather eventually met his death. Close to 90, he leaped onto his horse, miscalculated and flew completely over the horse, hit the ground and broke his hip. The break eventually killed him.
I’m thinking about my genetics as I reflect on my current tea leaf reading. I look at my mother. Her mother didn’t marry until she was thirty-five.
“Why should I get married?” my grandmother said to me. “Just because women are supposed to get married?”
When she did marry, she married a younger, very handsome man, (and younger men weren’t being done at the time) and then she drove a model T across the country, wearing jeans, (which also wasn’t being done by young women at the time!)
Now, I sigh. I think my way of thinking is just in my blood. It may be genetic and it’s hard to change the genes. It’s impossible, actually, to change a person’s Real Nature which is why, by the way, women should stop trying to change men. It’s not possible and it just wears one out. Give it up now if you’re guilty and you’ll save yourself some suffering that you don’t need.
My mother looks over at me and maybe she is reading my mind. We do that in this family.
She is trying to soothe me.
“I think you might eventually get married but you would have to feel the same way about some man, that these various men feel about you.”
She looks at me; peers at me, really.
“It’s getting kind of late in the day,” I say.
“Well, what about me?!” Mother says. “It’s a lot later in the day for me than it is for you.”
And, then she rifts off into why she doesn’t want to marry The Old Friend David or Skip The Much Younger Man or the Suitor Who Just Died, which I remind her is a given, that it’s to late to marry that one..
And as for You Out There; my friends. Think about it; man or woman, what is your Real Nature?
When we’re young, most of us tend to go along with what our culture says we should do and be and think, which means that we’re sometimes locked inside a little family house, intently blowing on hot oatmeal for the kids when we should be sitting outside in a long green field, naked, wearing big ruby necklaces and eating crepes while someone plays the violin for our amusement.
I think it’s time I just finally accept my genes and My Nature and see if I can ride the Wild Horse forever, perhaps just always a pace ahead of the ringing wedding bell.
Or not?
Please go to the COMMENT’S SECTION and tell us this: If you could just have it YOUR WAY, how would you do it? I mean, really? How would you do it? Take all the rules off your life and really look and see who is there and what it wants. Hey! Your sufferings may be over!! Maybe you have been suffering all this time because you have been trying to live your life in opposition to your Real Nature and you didn’t even know it.
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*FLOWDREAMING TELECLASSES FOR *LOVE AND *MONEY! I will be doing MY MOTHER’S LOVE MOJO during the Feb 14th LOVE class. The Money and Prosperity Class is Feb. 7th. To read about the classes and how they work to BRING GOOD THINGS INTO YOUR LIFE…or to sign up for a teleclass, please go to www.flowdreaming.com. Space is very limited.
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*And yet ANOTHER CHANCE TO WIN A FREE 15 MINTUE PHONE SESSIONS WITH VENUS.
During each live radio show I will be pulling at random, a name from my list of email addresses that you have sent me via my website. (See ‘Free sessions and More’) My show is “The Dear Venus Show,” every other Weds at 9AM Pacific/Noon eastern. You can listen to the show in the Archives BUT the offer will be valid for only one week from the time of the live show.
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FOR INFORMATION ABOUT PHONE SESSIONS WITH VENUS please see: www.godisalwayshappy.com and look for “Rates” on the Home Page
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*WINNER OF TODAY’S BLOG DRAWING; A FREE 15 MINUTE PHONE SESSION WITH VENUS IS: *Niki Giannini. Offer valid through Feb.9th, 2009. After that, null and void.
Tags: bra, genetics, grandparents, horse, lovers, men, mother, readings, summer, tea, venus, weather, wildness
First of all, Venus, I see where you girls get your good looks. Your mother is a beauty.
Your question about having it “your way” is an interesting one. I think this time around I have had it my way and some days I am not too sure my plan was a good one. Ha! But there are many blessings in being a single lady most of my life and a lot of my customers (I am a hairdresser) tell me how lucky I am. But the older I get I have a better perspective and there are pros and cons to singleness. While I would love someone to do things with I am also content to not have to listen to anyone try to boss me around or tell me how to live my life. I can now see both sides.
Over the years I have had astrology readings were they all said I would have a late life marriage. Ever since I was in my 40’s (I am now 61) I have been asking them—-how late is late? I never was all that keen to have “the wedding” ( I was married briefly in the 60’s and jokingly say I never did it again) I honestly didn’t think I was destined to be single all the way to the end. Did I listen to the astrologers and not try because it was futile? Am I supposed to be alone this time around to learn a value system pertaining to relationships? Is he still out there and waiting for me to get it together? Who knows. But in the meantime I am enjoying peace and solitude. I love my work, and have fallen in love with gardening and mosaics. Creating with my hands brings a joy.
I don’t know if this is my way or was I too lazy to make it any other way. But I love where I have taken my soul and don’t know if I could have done that if I was diverted by a relationship. And that I wouldn’t want to change for anything.
Hope your survey brings many interesting stories and comments. You are a gifted storyteller and I enjoy reading about your family.
Love
Susan
I agree with Susan, your Mom is a beauty. And I must say it is rare to see anyone at the age of 86 with such a beautiful smile and also to still have a twinkle in the eye. Go Mom!
She does have nice teeth! And is an amazing lady besides. I’d really love to meet the both of you.
About this whole marriage thing. I’ve noticed that nearly every female I went to elementary school with is married now. I’m not. In fact, most of the guys who I went to school with are not married. What does this mean? I don’t know. It makes me feel a little lonely! Maybe it’s just younger gals marrying older men.
As for what I’d really like to do… I don’t think I trust myself to “choose”. I think I want to let fate choose for me, because I believe the universe (but not society!) will choose what’s best. But at the same time, I have at least three separate things going on, maybe four, that I’m really passionate about, which don’t seem to ever go anywhere, at least not career-wise. My music, my video game journalism, my fascination with Japan… It feels like they’ll never lead to a career. But something has to eventually, right? One of them? All of them? None of them? I just don’t know the answers. I’m graduating college in May, and then it’s grad school or a job or… whatever the Universe throws at me.
Is it bad that I want to let the universe “do me”?
It feels like whenever I try to “choose” something, I get so gung ho about it that I go nuts, practically have a breakdown, and end up almost back where I was.
Sorry, this is not exactly the great story you were looking for! Long-winded, too! I’ll try to say something short and entertaining next time instead.
I really, really thought I wanted marriage. I believed it would complete me as a woman. What a load of crap. Shouldn’t have done it. I simply dislike compromise when it comes to my own destiny. That and I’m only interested in mothering my children…grown men don’t qualify.
My way would be to have an intensely intimate, thoughtful, and fullfilling relationship, while maintaining my own identity and freedom. As long as it’s good, he could stay the night. If the joy fizzles it’s, “Out you go, cat.”
Changed my mind. If I could have it MY way, including eliminating the fear I feel at the prospect of all this adventure, this is what I’d do, and yes, it is a bit of a fantasy:
I’d get an e-mail from someone important in the video game journalism industry, preferably from my favorite web site (1up.com), and they’d say, “Jesse, we really want you to move to San Francisco and write for us and be on our podcasts. Please take the job.”
Meanwhile, my music would also be ‘discovered’ (I guess what I mean is “appreciated!”), and I’d embark on a career in songwriting, which I would also do MY way without all the glitz of hollywood and all the crap and fakeness that gets attached to pop music. When I’m in the public limelight, I’d make great, thought-provoking comments and do eccentric things, but fame would not go to my head in the last. I’d meet my hero, John Rzeznik (Goo Goo Dolls), who would say, “Jesse, I want to produce your album,” and it would begin a string of excellent albums, late night talk show appearances, critical acclaim, and decent (but not necessarily mind-blowing) sales.
I’d tour in Japan, and I’d have a personal tutor to learn Japanese with, or at least I’d finally be able to take classes instead of studying alone.
Maybe, in my spare time, I’d translate Japanese novels, video games and that kind of stuff.
Oh, and damn it all anyway, I’d meet a wonderful girl, marry her, and have a companion throughout this great adventure!
And I’d have a supporting role in one of the final Harry Potter movies, too.
There, for God’s sake. That’s better. That’s MY way. Forget the previous, silly comment. Writing that felt great!
I’m more like Venus than I realized. I “rode the wild horse” literally during my childhood and never did fit into my parental and religion’s expectations. I never wanted to marry, it seemed too restricting, but I did finally get married at age 35 and it ended tragically a few years later due to his life threatening disease, of which he still suffers and I still caretake him to a smaller degree. Like Venus, all my life I gave 100% my heart, soul, money and attention to my relationships, including the two step kids and all the animals, and I still ended up by myself. Now, at age 51, newly single again, I am savoring the reality of being WITH myself and all the freedom I have that I hadn’t had since age 10. I have the “mommy” archetype, I love to feed and care for animals and kids, and I attracted men who want a mommy but pretend not to. After awhile that got real sour on both sides. During this alone time I am realizing a lot my emotional patterns and wondering why I did things the way I did and what I would do instead now with my new perspective. I have learned a lot! No regrets! I don’t think I will EVER re-marry but if I do have another partner I will want to be the one who is attended to, spoiled and looked after, I want a gentleman who wants to pamper me! I think that would make my life complete and make me feel like I have my “just desserts.”
Many thanks Venus, for sharing your Mother’s tea leaf reading and for her photo too, she’s really vibrant! I love her smile and her personality must be magnetic. Your blog was my biggest and only laugh for the day! You, your mother and Summer are just WONDERFUL!
Your fan in OC, Kathy
Hmm. Marriage. Being single and in my early forties, I see my siblings in good marriages (and now my neices… yep, I was lapped!) I would like to be married. When I get close to someone I start to get fearful of a complacency that might come with being in that relationship for the rest of my life and having to compromise too soon. But perhaps that fear comes as a gut instinct that tells me “he is not the right one, sabotage!”
In the meantime, Facebook brings me face-to-face with all my high school acquaintances and I hate to imagine what they are thinking…”She’s not married yet? What is wrong with her?” I would rather move forward and take life at my own pace whatever is in store for me. It is just kinda hard being a pioneer and waiting for the right one and on my timeline.
I’ve been married twice and managed to get out alive. Single for 13 years now my kids are going to graduate from high school next year and 2011. I feel I have to be good until then. lol. I’m still trying to figure out my nature but I really like my own space and freedom. So I guess I would be the queen with my chambers and just have my knights around to adore me when I please, throw in a court jester or two, some spontaneous trips and I’ll be happy. Good and loyal subjects are hard to find these days. Yes that sounds good.
Jo, if you’re reading, doesn’t it feel good sometimes to buck the trend? If all your high school friends on Facebook are married, isn’t it somehow satisfying to be different? Instead of assuming something is wrong with you, maybe they think you’re special. Maybe they think, deep down and probably with some guilt, “I wish I’d had the strength to be my own person instead of getting married.”
Ms Venus ~ I think you have opened up a can of worms that I was afraid to do for myself.
My “fantsy” my REAL NATURE … here it is.
I would ( and probably will ) leave my husband. A lot of our past problems were contributed to his BAD treatment of me & my insecurities, but, now that he is “growing”, but even better, so am I & I am realizing that, I am not sure if I want to be married. He is a good Dad, he is SMART SMART SMART, a proud serviceman, good looking. I love him. I do not love ME when he is around. I do not love who I have become since we have been married.
I thought being married , fitting into the typical cookie cutter life would heal what ails my soul, but, it only suffocated me. I tried to please EVERYONE in the whole wide world & never once asked myself what was right for ME.
I ALWAYS knew I wanted to be a Mom. LOVE IT !! LOVE IT !!! I am a Mom, got that dream… now what ?!?!?
I want a BIG FAT JUICY LIFE. A Sexy smart, beautiful, fun, flirty, committed,purposeful life. I want to wear shirts that show “too much” cleaveage. Jeans that are too tight, I want to listen to music REALY loud. I want to have GREAT SEX, I want to be appreciated, I want every day to be delicious & full ( even rainy ,crappy, bill-paying, PMS,my jeans-dont-fit,bad hair days have something good about them ).
I want to share time with a man who loves& appreciates me as THAT crazy full woman. Married, eh, I donno.
I want to live a big fat juicy life responsibly so that my kids see that being happy & living & loving are all attainable.
I had a psychic tell me ” I see you in 5 years,with your kids, very happy, with a man on your arm, but, not necessarily in your home. But, that will be because YOU want it that way “. It scared me, but, it excited me too.
Like I have heard before… you have to BE who you want to attract. Be the life you want to live. You want love ? Love. You want happiness? Be happy.
I need to BE sexy, loving, juicy, full, happy. My real nature drives me away from all stereotypical “norms” of what I “should” be. I do not want to be afraid of that anymore. And thanks to this blog… I am not so much anymore.
I am not anti marriage. I have seen , from my grandparents the sacred bond that is loving & life long. So if that is in the cards for me.. that man had better LOVE LOVE LOVE the crazy free independent sexy silly unique quirky me. LOVE me, be FAITHFUL to me & LIVE a full life with me. My standards have now been risen.
Venus , I would love to spend a day with you & Summer & your beautiful mother. I would love to have you mojo me, leaf read, laugh, flowdream me into lands of infinate possibilities, drop a few reminders in people’s heads of how amazing I am & send me energy balls of gi-normous proportion. I am so ready to LIVE.
I love you ! xoxo Melanie
Venus, love your blog! You’re awesome. I think I need a do-over because if I could have it my way I would have trusted my gut a long time ago. I’ve been married and divorced from the same man twice and we now live together, although I refuse to marry him again. He’s like a bad habit I can’t seem to break and now I feel stuck (we own a house together). To make a long story short, he’s in poor health, and has ED so the physical stuff is long gone. But if I had trusted my gut years ago I would have never gotten involved with him in the first place. But at first he was sexy as hell and I couldn’t resist. My kids always used to say I married him for lust rather than love (true in hindsight). I should have taken the time to get to know myself first and figure out what I really wanted before being with anyone. I had a few years in between the last divorce and when we got back together when I was happily single. I loved living alone, the independence, not having to answer to anyone else, eating whenever I wanted, not having to cook if I didn’t feel like it, not having to shave my legs, etc. My dog and the good friends I had then were all the companionship I needed. I also had several fantastic lovers who completely satisfied me and were not interested in any commitment, and that was fine with me. Against my better judgment, I basically moved back in with my ex to take care of him and because I needed the financial help he provides. Fortunately, he’s on the road for his job most of the time, and only home about four or five days a month, so I still have some degree of independence. But even though he can’t perform in the bedroom, he expects me to be faithful. I really miss those free and easy single days, and hope to be still young enough to have some good times again someday. My ex’s heart condition and his refusal to change any of his habits (smoking, not exercising, eating junk food) almost assures that I will get my chance again someday. I’d also take more time to nurture my creativity and my spirituality.
I love everyone’s comments. I love that you all are so willing to share what’s true for you. Venus, you’re perfect. I don’t think you should change a thing about yourself. Ride the wild horses to your dying day. Hopefully that day won’t come by miscalculating your seat and flying off the horse, like your, was it, great grandfather, did? (That story really cracked me up. He missed the horse and flew right off, to his death. Can’t you just hear his spirit’s raucous laughter as he returned into non-physical!)
I’m in the process of ending a 34 year marriage. I am terrified and electrified and embracing this transition. It’s as if I’m waking up and feeling myself, my authentic self, for the first time in, well, 34 years! better late then never.
Love to you all. Venus, I’m so looking forward to your Valentine’s Day teleclass. See you there.
Donna xo
If I could have it my way, I’d have it both ways. I love the idea of continuity in a partner, someone who’ll be right there with you throughout life’s adventures. Just like how it’s a wonderful thing to still have friends you’re close to from grade school up until now, expect you get the “benefits” in a life partner/marriage. I also think that if the type of security and steady footing that you get from that kind of committment to each other (whether through marriage or some other form of partnership) is in place, there’s no reason why if it’s desired, one or both partners couldn’t agree to experiencing an open relationship. Like trying different flavors of ice cream in a sense. But your life partner would serve as your anchor. Sure you may enjoy experiences with others, may even love some of them, but your committment is willingly and lovingly to your life partner, with whom you’ve both already established a good working/living/loving relationship with – the others may come and go as need be. I think that trying to extract your every need and whim from just one other person puts a HUGE responsibility on them that isn’t really reasonable or fair. Everyone’s basic instinct and need is to be AND feel free WHILE at the same time knowing that we are taken care of. In my opinion, having it both ways takes care of that basic need. That’s my take without the imposed societal rules and restrictions. Maybe that’s what we’re currently evolving towards anyway. If think about the divorce rates and why marriages seem to be becoming more and more obsolete. Maybe the marriage institution itself is in for a change for something that works better for how we are all evolving and what our new understandings are
That’s a good point Venus – why not have it the way we want it?! Why not have both the freedom & space to be oneself & a great relationship at the same time? Based on past experiences, my belief that I could not have both has kept me away from a relationship for a while now. Thanks for bringing this subject up, it’s something I needed to think about more positively.
p.s. Your mother has really nice teeth.
IT’S ALL ABOUT THE BENJAMINS’ IN LIFE
THE STRANGE CASE OF THE HUMAN SPIRIT ON EARTH: I JUST CAME BACK FROM THE MOVIE ‘Benjamin Button’ which illuminates the human condition on the planet by clobbering you on the head. If our spirit gets better, not the body, after living and experiencing life alone, it kind of says that when we die here, we are refreshed to the other side. Like “Ground Hog Day,” witch had a theme of reincarnation, this is a theme of the soul in time amidst constant change. It can get better or worse if we gain from being here.
In “The Curious Case of Benjamin Button” clocks go backwards, the aging process is prominent, and there is loss. The story is a fantasy, but it works because conflict, contrast and duality still exist even if the fact of the “ages of man” is absurdly reversed. It makes a point. At the heart of this metaphor is the illusion of being far from our source. Like Rock poet Jim Morrison said, we are out on the perimeter. I saw the film as a curious metaphor for the afterlife and reincarnation, for liberation through knowledge and in the wonder of film, the whole thing worked for me.
There are Jungian humming birds, a mention of Edgar Kaycee and metamorphosis happening everywhere, even in reverse. The temporal aspect of life is emphasized. Apart from the higher self, we get to once we are ‘born out’ of this world, we are renewed. The movie is a symbolic of this. You gain a new perspective once once you get back to the true reality. Benjamin Button was an old soul born back to source after his final lesson of love. Also because it is a metaphor for getting back ‘home’ at journey’s end when the spirit is refreshed with new perspective.
Isn’t this our reality? That we get better eventually, because this is the school of hard knocks and dirty socks. We progress and we work on ourselves, becoming more flexible, comfortable. Daisy, Benjamin’s friend, is a dancer who looses her elasticity in the American South. The make-up, special effects, the art design and cinematography are all top drawer. In one scene you are in New Orleans’ old Storyville section as a young man with renewed vigor running through your veins.
Not as symbolic as the original, this adapted work by Eric Roth, also the screenwriter for Forrest Gump, finally shapes the story to its truth, something Fitzgerald had a hard time doing in his 1921 story. The movie is believable because it has significance or meaning. Loss is inevitable. A soul has free will to do whatever in predetermined situations. Button is a patient, right-conduct living, non-violent human being. He’s learned it all and won’t be coming back after “graduation.” The unconscious appeal of this movie is the metaphysical aspect: a truth that most of us will not know until we die.
If you think of it it’s an absurd premise. Will it be realistic? In movies, with all its collaborative arts – editing, directing, acting, SGI (screen graphic imaging), art direction and cinematography, it made the picture come together. As a fantasy it’s believable. A story about spiritual vitality verses physical youth. What else could a story mean to grow old and die young? Accept it as it is. OK. As long as it has relevance to my life. It deals with issues of going back to our source, reincarnation, metamorphosis and the souls journey. We really are getting younger: wise, comfortable, experienced, knowledgeable. Can you imagine having great wisdom and being young? This is Button’s last life on Earth: born an old soul. Become renewed to the other side when it’s your time. ML Finholt
So wonderful to see a picture of your Mom. Thanks for sharing that. I think I would like to find the right woman and get married. Being almost 54 I would love to go through the rest of my life with a wonderful companion, and I was never into the whole male/female thing and all the games that seem to go with that. I would like to develop my artwork further and eventually have it widely appreciated. And of course lots of time for quiet sitting in the sun and watching animals. The type of partner I would like would be someone who I got along so well with it wouldn’t matter at all what we were doing we would enjoy each others company and have fun and try new things just for the heck of it.
If I had no restrictions, I would travel the world on that boat that takes the world tour in a year, with my kids. I want to show them how people are the same everywhere, they live, love and deal with life differently. I want to show them the wonders in every nook. I can’t make up mind if I have a wonderful partner to share this with or just a lover in every port to do the same.
Hi everyone!
If I could have things without rules and unnecessary restrictions (you’re right, Venus that is the cause of our suffering, at least for me) I would divorce my wonderful husband and live alone with my wonderful self and I would also give away my three dogs and let someone else take care of them! (two of them are strays I picked up on the street outside my home- there effectively are no shelters for stray dogs here in Greece). It may sound awful, and I feel guilty about the dog part (I don’t feel guilty about the husband part, we’ve already discussed this, we just haven’t made a decision yet, and this is the reason I have not given them away yet. This and my fear of what will happen to them if I give them to someone and no longer have control over what happens to them. One of them has osteoarthritis even though he is only 3 years old and I don’t know if he will get the care he needs.
Thank you Venus for giving me the opportunity to present my life as it is now. I am open to advice (yes, advice!) from everyone/anyone about what to do, especially about the dogs. I am at my wits’ end!
Thanks again, wild horse, keep riding, it sounds wonderful! I wouldn’t even dream of entering another relationship unless it was to learn something (not for a while, though!), I’ve certainly learned a lot about myself from my current relationship, which was like a mirror for me and also provided much needed support. I hope I gave something back. But on the whole, although in the past I was an emotionally ‘clinging’ type with men, I would personally never ever again want to be committed in a relationship and for god’s sake definitely not sharing a home! It’s too boring! (at least for me). And, I lose myself. I don’t take care of myself and I forget what my purpose is and why I am here on this planet.
P.S. I also need to find a job. Maybe I should get in on a flowdreaming teleclass and take care of everything!
Thanks again and all my love to you Venus and to everyone,
Despi
I am sooo with you about the whole marriage thing, Don’t know why but it’s just not my thing.
Thank You Venus
Hi Venus…I love the pictures you’ve been including in your blogs. Tell your Mom she is stunning. No wonder she can conjure up multiple boyfriends! Ha! It’s those sparkly eyes and beautiful smile! On the subject of doing what you want when it comes to marriage—as in to marry or not to marry— I married too young the first time; a bad choice for me. I truly loved my second husband who passed away 10 years ago and although we were crazy about each other, his strong personality and my weaker one were not always a good match. Since his passing I have not even been out on one date, not ONE, which doesn’t feel right either, but has been such a time of personal growth for me to get to know myself which I have never taken time to really do. I was attracted to men with strong personalities and apparently being married to them turned off my ability stand up for myself in certain ways so this 10 year rest from men has made me much stronger and independent and in a much better place to make healthier decisions for myself. Kind of a lonely way to get there (I do have friends, Ha!) but you know what I mean…. And now that I do know myself better, I would actually like to have a relationship again, but get married…I don’t think so! And the guilt thing over to marry or not marry….a total waste of time. We need to kill that one off now and do what we want!
Thanks for your great show and blogs Venus!
Deb
Venus… You shoulda’ kept the first one. He WAS a keeper! Sill fire there, too. Bob