Dear Friends,
I have been thinking of splitting up with my long time boyfriend Bill, for a number of years. He’s a great guy and a good guy, but, I’ve finally learned that just because a man is a good guy doesn’t mean he’s right for me.
I have been agonizing over our stagnant relationship for a long time as I saw only two options; stay together and continue plodding on or ask him to leave my house and my life.
I didn’t want to stay with the arrangement the way it is and continue flying under a false flag and I didn’t want the drama and upheaval of breaking up and having Bill move out and away. I like the man, I love the man and I like having him here and in my life.
One morning two weeks ago, I sat quietly, closed my eyes and, once again, put my attention on my situation. POP! I had a ‘Brilliant’ idea!
Later that day I sat with Bill and spoke candidly. “Bill, It’s time to call a spade a spade. We love each other but this is not a romantic relationship. We’ve both tried to make it one, but we live as brother and sister and friendly room-mates. It’s comfortable but it’s not right. It can’t go on like this, but I don’t want to kick you out of my life. However…I believe I have a Brilliant Idea that will resolve this dilemma. I’m remodeling my house anyway,” I said, “so why don’t I turn my art studio into a studio for you to live in? You give me money now, anyway, for bills and food; so just keep giving me money and we’ll call it rent.”
Bill grinned and said, “Oh…I’ll be your tenant.”
Then he admitted that he has been in an emotional mix of dread and uncertainty, also.
“It might be an easy way to move on,” he said.
It’s two weeks later and the studio is almost ready for Bill to move-in. We’re putting a cat door in the door between his studio and my house so our cat and small dog can visit each of us, back and forth.
How do I really feel? A sense of tremendous freedom and I’m proud of myself. I was (finally!) able to come to a firm and logical decision about an emotional heartache…and quickly execute the plan. I feel empowered.
I also feel sad. The dreams Bill and I had of being together ‘forever’ fell apart little by little and long ago, but there is still the ache of grief that lingers.
THE BEINGS
A few nights ago, The Beings commented on my situation and suggested this to me:
“You are in a sad and difficult position in Your life at this moment. You grieve the death of an important relationship. Give Yourself time.
It was a good time with Bill. It was necessary. Perhaps You should weep. Weeping clears the channels. There is a purpose for it. You learned not to cry as a Child, because You felt it changed nothing and had no purpose. You can cry now, as You see things differently.
Weeping washes and clears energy channels. It releases stuck energy in the body and in the emotions.”
…………
I will be writing more about my so-called secret, or personal life, as Venus and of my life with what I call The High Beings.
I expect this blog to be a collection of the fun, the painful and the mundane of human life and because of the Beings conversations with us, of the sublime and the useful.
I hope you will join me here.