"My Bathroom Sink Before I Blew It Up." http://www.artmojos.com
This morning I’ve blown my bathroom sink apart.
It is quite a surprise.
Here’s how it goes.
I have an art deco type, fluted glass sink. It sits on top of the tiled bathroom counter and is pleasing to look at. It is moulded to look like a huge, luminous blue flower rising open-mouthed toward the indifferent burnished copper faucet above it.
The sink was very expensive. It makes a statement. It makes the bathroom. It’s a beautiful and wondrous and overpriced extravagance but everybody needs at least one outrageous, nonsensical, illogical extravagance don’t you think?
I have to stand on my toes to use this sink and even then I often clank my elbows on its undulating glass edges.
Its lithe inner neck is attached to a pipe and hidden under the countertop but like an unrelenting sinus condition the pipe is always clogged.
The sink is a gorgeous delicate Being, but I don’t like it. It is uncomfortable to use and it barely drains. Nothing I’ve used clears the blockages and I’ve even used human plumbers.
This morning I have had enough of the sink’s peculiarities and quirks. I have in hand a very large jug of poison gel that is guaranteed to scrub clean the most recalcitrant pipes.
The instructions say to pour the burning goo down the drain and let it sit for one half hour. Then I am instructed to run hot water down the pipe.
This is a problem.
I can never get the water to run long enough to get it hot enough because the water won’t drain from the beautiful sink. The water fills to the brim and then sits sullenly, threatening to rush over the lips of the blue beauty.
But…suddenly, I have an excellent and even brilliant idea. I will heat the water on the kitchen stove and pour that down the drain.
Just a Marvel I am. An Inventive Thinker. So clever. Smarter then the average plumber who seems not to have thought of this.
I put the red tea kettle on the stove and whistle while I wait. When the kettle begins to whistle with me, I snatch it off the burner and rush with it to the bathroom.
“Here you go!” I shout as I pour the kettled hot water into the Amazing Blue Bowl.
Kabaam! Krack! Slap and Smack!
As I’m pouring in the water, the glass bowel snaps urgently and breaks itself into pieces!
The bowl collapses and poison water gushes and runs across the counter and as I soon find, it rushes into the cupboards and drawers below like an urgent, dirty swollen river into a canyon.
Oh my god.
I’m in shock. I have just blown my $3,000.00 bathroom sink apart.
I call my brother-in-law Smiley, The Gold Plated Plumber.
He comes over to assess the situation.
"Bill and Smiley in my bedroom discussing how I blew up my sink."
“Umm,” he says. “You’re lucky you didn’t get hurt really badly.”
I ask if he can unclog the drain.
No. He can’t. He won’t. He only deals with the Very High End of Plumbing. He does not unclog greasy hair-stuffed drains.
He is however, willing to put a new sink on top of the counter…when I find one.
I call a more earthy plumber about the drain.
Duane comes to my house and I tell him about my broken glass sink, now lying mixed in an outside trash can with dead bugs and garden refuge.
We both stare at the bathroom counter. All that remains is a small hole attached to a pipe below.
“Can you clean the drain?” I ask. “That’s what I have been trying to do for months now. I can’t put another sink here until the drain is clear.”
Duane is obliging. He gets under the counter and unscrews the loop in the plumbing.
A rush of bleach smelling water spits itself out into a bowl he’s holding. Duane dumps the water in the toilet.
“What do you think?” I ask. “Can you clear it?”
Duane looks at me and says, “It’s clear. There’s no clog here.”
I’m stunned. “Oh no,” I say, “You mean I ruined the sink but I unclogged the drain?“
Apparently that is so.
I reflect for a few minutes.
I didn’t like the sink. It was lovely but impossible to use. It cracked my elbows. I had to stand on tip toes to use it. It was constantly clogged up and dirty because of the stoppage.
Now, in one whack I have solved all my sink problems. I have gotten rid of the sink and I have cleared the drain!
It’s a great day after all.
As Scarlett O’Hara, from Gone with the Wind, might say, “I will think about replacing my sink tomorrow.”
And so, you see my friends…a shocking event in your life that may appear to be a tragedy or at least a nuisance…may actually be a fortuitous event.
Oddly enough, sometimes we all have to suffer a bit or maybe even a lot…to get the crap out of our lives.
…………………..
*An idea: If you like my posts, please consider emailing them on using the Email Friend link above. Or share it on Facebook/Like. I am doing my best to add a little cheer to the world. (Ok, well, with the unsuspecting help of my family and friends!)
*This month is a great time for a phone reading with me! Visit me at www.GodIsAlwaysHappy.com for rates and availability.
*From the Emailed Blog, to post a Comment/Like/FB etc: Please click on the Title of the Post in this email and it will take you to the post on the Website Blog.
*Comments: Each month I choose a comment I like and the WINNER gets a FREE ten minute PHONE READING with me. The winner is announced here with the first blog of every month. Thank you!
January’s Winner is: Kathy Noll. “You are a hoot and a half! I saw a sign once in a bathroom that said, ‘If you tinkle please don’t sprinkle.’ lol.” From the blog ‘Felt Like Pooping Lately?”
And a comment I enjoyed is from the same blog; Gryneous Kentauros: “Your book (The Herb Ladies Notebook) causes bowel movements” (when reading it.) ! A cheap laxative I would think folks. Check it out at http://www.amazon.com
Tags: art deco, bathroom sink, drain, plumber, sink
Leave a Comment...
Click here to Leave a comment through Facebook social network.Click here to Leave a comment through the blog.
And away goes trouble down the drain………….Metaphorically this is so true
Venus, great story. I like how you turned it around. The blue sink and you had bad vibes. Hope you find the new perfect sink for you with the perfect energy.
You were definitely not “in sync” with that sink! And face it–you wouldn’t have replaced if it hadn’t blown up, so all is well (glad you didn’t get hurt!)
Ah, Venus!! Sink – $3000; plumbers – $$$$$; washing your face without clanking your elbows – priceless (as is, of course, laughing until you cry . . . and Venus)!!!
Well, now I want to replace my ugly white porcelain sink, no matter the consequences! and I love the color of your bedroom walls.
Aren’t you glad it wasn’t your toilet? Years ago, when my mother was living with me, she told me that she had broken my toilet. I just couldn’t wrap my head around that statement. How do you break a toilet??????? She sat too far back and broke the tank off. That’s how. She knew enough to turn off the water supply. (It wasn’t the first toilet she’d broken) I got to clean up the rest. I bought a one-piece toilet with a mental challange of “Now try and break THAT!” It was reeaaallly heavy, but I got it installed. All by myself.
Oh Venus, I laughed, and wanted to cry at the same time, because I have done similar things but not with a bathroom sink
Your stories help us to laugh at ourselves and our humaness, and heal our inner hurts at the same time.
Perhaps having an outrageous, nonsensical, illogical extravagance is not enough; that extravagance should also be functional and make our life easier.
How’s that for a tall order?
venus. what’s so unusual about that. your alway’s unclogging some form of stuck energy. thank goodness, you dont always take out the bathroom sink evertime though.
hmmm well that’s one way to get rid of a sink and the clog that bothered you. Good news is, you get to go shopping for a new sink!!!
Oh Venus! I read this post 15 minutes after finding out that I was going to be laid off and I felt like you wrote it just for me! I got a great laugh and realized that I just got some of the crap cleared out of my life too.
Love that I could pop in right when you needed me Marie!
There’s no way I would have had that $3,000 sink removed on my own even though the thing always frustrated me. I dreaded having to wash my face in the morning! Sometimes it’s nuts what we all put up with. xo
Your poor mother. She must have had a reputation as “The Woman Who Breaks Toilets! So Make her go outside.”
Very funny! xo
You make me smile, Venus.
When you mentioned the tea pot, I knew exactly what happened! I had a very dirty windshield one year and it was BAKING HOT outside. Needless to say when I used the hose on it- CRACK! I LOVE those sinks but always thought I couldn’t have one because I knew that I would have to completely replace the vanity too and make it short so I would be able to get my elbows over the edge of the sink. I have lots of other beautiful glass in my house though to fill that urge. Beauty is awesome, function is really important though!
Venus, sometimes a sluggish drain can result from a poorly vented pipe. Can even result from waste pipes being too small. I know from experience that not all practicing plumbers are up on this. Hope you have someone who knows what they are doing working on the replacement and you don’t have continuing problems lingering on. Oh, do I know what that is like. Anyway, you can now finally get the kind of sink that better suits your needs. Here’s happy sink hunting. Love ya Venus!
I have recently come to the same conclusion. God does indeed have a sense of humor———-it however can be very costly. I have always wondered how practical those fancy sinks are, luckily I never really wanted one. Give me the old fashioned sink that is practically indestructible and aq whole lot cheaper to boot.
Well, Venus, I sure hope you enjoy your new sink once you get it! I like that you included that photo of Bill & Smiley in this post.
I totally agree with what you said about how something in our lives which may appear to be a negative can turn out to be a positive. I had just such an experience yesterday morning, when I went home from work, after working the overnight shift…
I drove the 15 minutes back to my house, and went inside an happily greeted my dog and 8 cats. I began to unwind, tired after being up all night, and so glad to be home, when I felt an unpleasant buzzing in my pocket. DAMN! I had taken home the staff cell phone. I detest cell phones, and don’t own one, but I’m required to use one at work. And I had forgotten to hand it over to the oncoming staff before I left.
Anyway, I had to drive right back into town to get that phone to the staff on duty. Grrrrrrr. I was annoyed. But, then I realized I had forgotten to deposit my pay check into the bank, and I needed to do that so I didn’t bounce any checks, so it was actually good that I was coming back into town. That made me feel better about it all.
I drove by my vet’s office, and I thought that since I was depositing my check, and had some money in my account, I might as well just pop in and buy some treats for my dog and cats. So I did that. And then I felt even better about the extra trip, because I knew my pets would enjoy their treats.
Then I popped into work and gave the darn cell phone to the staff on duty. As I was about to get back into my car, out in the parking lot, my attention was caught by a woman across the street. She was standing by her car, in the road, while a dog sort of danced around and away from her. She was obviously trying to get the dog into the car, but the dog was having none of it. It was a young looking, medium sized dog, which looked like a Doberman pinscher.
The lady got into the car and drove a little ways, and the dog chased after her. She stopped, got out again, tried to catch the dog, but with no luck. Then, much to my surprise, she got in her car and just drove off, with the dog running along behind her. That looked really unsafe, and I was worried about the dog.
I jumped in my car and headed down the road in the direction they had gone off in. At the stop sign I saw the lady pulled over, a ways down the road, and the dog still dancing around. I drove up to where they were and pulled over, got out and asked if she needed help catching the dog. I wasn’t sure what I could do, though, as the dog was clearly very skittish and out of control.
Then I remembered I had the rawhide dog treats I had just bought for my own dog. I got one of them out and gave it to the woman. I stood in the road and got traffic to slow down while she went to the other side, where the dog had run off to, and tried to entice her with the treat.
After a little while the ploy worked, and she was able to get ahold of the dog’s collar and walk her back and get her into the car. Phew! She explained that the dog had been abused when she was younger, and that she, the woman, had gotten angry at the dog earlier, so the dog was scared and wouldn’t come to her. Being yelled at had triggered the dog’s earlier trauma. She had escaped from the car at the supermarket, up the road from where I work.
I was so glad that I was able to help… that I just ‘happened’ to be there are the right time, and just ‘happened’ to have the dog treats with me! As I drove home I thought about how fortunate it turned out to be, that I had mistakenly taken that darn cell phone home with me.
I’ve been wrestling with this for a while too. I’ve been trying so hard to pare down, and it’s always the very pretty items I love that I want to keep and find a place for. Then again I want a home with no clutter. It’s a contradiction if there ever was one. This is the conversation that runs through my head, when reviewing some lovely item – “That item doesn’t ‘work’ in this house” “Then I should get a house it does work in!” It’s as if I put the cart before the horse, and got the furnishings before the home, or is it trying to put a silk patch on a sow’s ear?
A great story Jaya! xo
Dear Venus,
From the perspective of a professional organizer, and Feng Shui connoisseur, I can tell you this: it’s “crystal clear” that that Blue sink of yours was giving you “the blues”…
I can’t get enough of your charming stories. I can’t wait to read what other interesting stories you have on the “pipeline”!
LOL You can always count on the universe to help us with things we are having trouble with…. Just think no more tippy toe washing and hurt elbows. maybe look for a shorter replacement?… Love ya Venus….
Venus, thank you so much for your blogs! I love your stories, they are so interesting, amusing, heartfelt, and light hearted, even when they are a calamity! And the pictures you draw for them, look like vibrant, full of life cartoons to go with it!
Wow, great story. It’s funny how things work out. My husband and I just bought a house and the toilet downstairs was so high I could hardly use it. Then one night the entire floor was covered with water coming from the toilet. I searched high and low looking for plumbers in Naperville IL. I finally found one and he said the clog was so bad in the toilet that we were going to have to get another one. I couldn’t have been happier. I seriously hated that toilet. We ended up redoing the whole bathroom and now it is so beautiful.