Archive for the ‘
Mysteries in Life ’ Category
Tuesday, January 17th, 2012
"You Think I'm What??"
My brother-in-law has called me on the phone.
He says, “I want you to know I love you.”
I say, “Thank you Ron.”
“And,” he adds briskly, “although you have always been an irritant in my life you have made me a better person by doing it.”
What? He loves me but I irritate him? I irritate him?
He continues.
“And whenever I need help you are always there for me and you always stand up for me, no matter what. And I love you for that.”
“I am an irritant?!” I say.
“Well, yes.”
“What do you mean I’m an irritant?!”
“Ah…well…I really don’t know…except that you always call me on my stuff and tell me, bull’s eye, whatever it is. You are always honest with me and tell me straight and you tell me to knock it off.”
“Like what?”
“Well…I don’t know…but it’s a good thing I married your sister and not you. I just know that you have always been an irritant in my life and I love you.”
“Gee. Thanks for the call, Ron.”
“You’re welcome.”
Hahahhhahah!
Later that same evening my cousin Elaine sends me an email. (more…)
Tags: All One, boredom, candy, father, God, irritant, jim, laugh, mother, polly, Ron, tombstone
Posted in
Family, Mysteries in Life, Relationships, The High Beings, Wierd Stuff, Words from Venus |
4 Comments »
Tuesday, January 10th, 2012
Skeeter Has The Answer For All Of Us
There’s a handsome man in the beauty shop, but when he opens his mouth I realize he isn’t handsome. He’s annoying.
He’s walked in and settled himself in a brown plastic chair against the wall, way behind the one I’m sitting in. He acts like it’s his personal chair.
He’s snortling and saying things about Alaska, trying to get my attention but I’m not giving it. I am not in the mood to amuse a strange man.
My granddaughter, 9-year-old Lexi, is getting her first Beauty Shop haircut.
She’s sitting transfixed in a high booster chair in the regular salon chair in front of a large mirror. The stylist, a sixty-something woman with slicked back long, long, long dragging reddish/gray hair, is snipping and snapping around Lexi with a sharp pair of silver scissors.
I’m thinking the stylist needs a haircut really badly.
The man in the back chair keeps nattering on. Lexi’s beautician, and the other one in the shop, largely ignore him.
Both ladies are methodically cutting, whacking, and curling their client’s tresses.
I’m yawning.
Three young boys walk in. The oldest asks if anyone can cut his and his brother’s hair.
“Just have a seat,” they’re told. “We’ll be with you shortly.”
The two youngest boys look like they are in early grade school. These two boys grab seats and the older one, about fifteen, sits next to me.
He looks part Asian. The other two don’t.
I’m wondering how this family got mixed and what might be their interesting story.
Lexi ignores the boys. She is too involved in her first real haircut and maybe too young to feel embarrassed by her wet straggly head of hair and her butt on a little’s kids booster seat.
Everybody’s quiet. Everybody except The Man In The Back Chair Against The Wall.
“My name’s Skeeter,” he says. “You sure have nice weather here. I’m from Alaska.”
The boys are very polite. They nod toward the man and acknowledge him.
The boy next to me says, “My name is Ronnie and my little brother’s are Ace and Cash.”
The client who is getting her hair curled is finished now. She’s about eighty and she leaves happily with a tall pile of red curls standing straight up off the top of her boney head.
Ace, who looks about six-years-old, is called by the other stylist to get in the vacant chair for his cut.
The woman asks if the boys are having a nice Christmas holiday.
They are.
Skeeter speaks up. “I wrote a book,” he says. “I got it right here.”
The boys turn towards him to look but I don’t. (more…)
Tags: beauty shop, book, boys, Christmas carols, God, hair, Jesus, Lexi, Skeeter, teenager
Posted in
Art and Beauty, Family, Mysteries in Life, Screaming Hysterics, Wierd Stuff, Words from Venus |
3 Comments »
Tuesday, January 3rd, 2012
Special note: I’ve had a Big Blog Blow-Up this holiday. All my plug-ins and comments etc are in total disarray. I bought ‘Blogging For Dummies’ and am reading as fast as I can. With my meager knowledge and Summer’s help I plan to have my next (real) blog up and to my subscribers by Jan 11th 2012.
I will also list the winner of a phone session with me, pulled randomly from the comments that some of you were able to get to me last month.
Thank you for your patience.
In the meantime….to hold you over, here’s just a little something that happened in my life over the holidays.
Would you rather eat after cats or squirrels?
Jim and the Cat Butter
My brother Jim calls at eight p.m. and says he’s coming to see me. He arrives exhausted and with a bag of food from his restaurant tucked under his arm.
He tells me he hasn’t slept for 24 hours.
“Last night I had to paint the door red and it wouldn’t dry so I couldn’t shut it so I had to stay up all night and wait for it. I just couldn’t walk off and let the burglars in my place.”
He’s messing around in the kitchen, getting stuff from my refrigerator for his sandwich.
I’m in my pajamas on the couch, paying attention to the TV.
Jim brings his meal into the living room and settles into a big chair. He eats and finishes his sandwich.
I get up to get a glass of water. On the kitchen counter, I see the butter tub. The lid is off and the tub is empty. Ummmm? (more…)
Tags: cat butter, cat food, jim
Posted in
Family, Mysteries in Life, Relationships, Screaming Hysterics, Wierd Stuff, Words from Venus |
3 Comments »
Tuesday, December 27th, 2011
Jim has been seeing “Dr. Doug” the psychiatrist off and on for years. My brother is very emotional and rides the waves of his life in giant dips and upswings. As Dr. Doug tells Jim, “Our goal is not to eliminate your personality, but to make the waves and dips more gentle.”
Jim and I are sitting in Dr. Doug’s office early in the evening. Jim can’t sleep because of his sudden divorce and a near bankrupt business. He needs a Magic Pill.
I am very supportive of my brother. Since he has asked me to be here with him tonight, I am.
Dr. Doug is very professional as he shuffles important papers, reads previous notes he’s written in binders and all while writing down everything that Jim says. The doctor talks about this drug and that drug and says that every drug he has tried on Jim doesn’t work. He tells me that Jim is sensitive to chemicals and that they have odd side effects with him.
“So,” he says, ” I have one we’re going to try on Jim that is very benign. Very benign.”
He leans forward in his tasteful brown chair. The chair has little shiny wheels that squeak like tiny mice.
The doctor is a handsome man. He is also very bright and likable. He wears no wedding ring. (more…)
Posted in
Family, Lovelife, Mysteries in Life |
No Comments »
Wednesday, December 14th, 2011
I’m thinking about crows as I lie in the road. It’s very quiet except for me
sobbing and whining
“Why, why, why?”
I look up at the bland blue sky. A few large black crows are watching me from the gently swinging telephone lines.I’m also thinking how today seemed to be a good day. The perfect day to take a little walk. Of course, I had found a dead ant in my nose when I woke up, but odd things happen. Overall things are getting better for me.
With rest and good nutrition my ‘bad’ ankle is feeling better. Today, I am finally feeling that I can take a walk down the road to look at the black walnut trees that line it. The nuts are ripe and the big, scruffy crows are wondering why I haven’t been down for awhile to gather and toss the walnuts into the street. The crows wait for the cars to come by and squash the shells, leaving mashed nuts for them to eat.
A few minutes ago, as I started my happy walk, before I have landed on the pavement, here’s a tiny pebble on the asphalt road but I don’t see it. The sole of my right shoe hits it, my foot rolls over, I hear a snap and I hit the pavement hard, bam! I’m on my left side flat out. This has all taken a second, if that. My jeans are ripped, my elbow hurts and is bleeding along with my palm, knee and left ankle. But my right ankle is screaming with pain.
“Oh noooo,” I’m wailing. “That was my good ankle! Why my good ankle? Why, why, why?”
I lie in the street and sob. (more…)
Tags: disappointment, emotionally painful, food poisoning, The Beings
Posted in
Mysteries in Life, The High Beings, Words from Venus |
14 Comments »
Friday, November 19th, 2010
The night after my mother passed I woke, sat up in bed and began singing “Somewhere Over The Rainbow.”
I sang it over and over in the dark, wondering why I was doing it as I am not a good singer and I certainly never wake up singing in the night! In the morning, I realized that this song is my mother!
We will be playing this recorded version at at her service and I have asked my daughter Summer to also sing the song, in her own way.
Margaret McWhorter, age 20
MY MOTHER’S OBITUARY
As beautiful as a movie star and as unaffected as a flower, our Mother, Margaret Jane Woods-Lange McWhorter died Tuesday evening, Nov 16th, at the age of 88 after having well-lived ten years with lung cancer. When sometimes asked how she stood the pain and fear of cancer she said, “I just make it neutral.” She also told us she had made friends with her cancer. (more…)
Tags: beautiful, cancer, mother, obituary, overtherainbow, song
Posted in
Family, Mysteries in Life, Photos, Relationships, Stories about Mother, Words from Venus |
26 Comments »
Tuesday, June 8th, 2010
“THE LITTLE PINK DRESS”
(Hanging In My Art Room Minding It’s Own Business.)
I’m having a family party at my house. My sister, sitting in a chair on the patio, leans over to me sitting on the chair next to her and says, “Venus, someone has to tell you. Never wear that dress again. Go look in the mirror at your butt.”
I look at Polly, agast.
“That dress ripples all up your butt. Go look. You’ll see.” (more…)
Tags: barbara, bill, butt, Charles, dress, Family, men, mirror, paintings, party, patio, Photos, pink, polly, sister
Posted in
Family, Looking Good, Mysteries in Life, Parties and Fun, Photos, Relationships, Wierd Stuff, Words from Venus |
8 Comments »
Friday, September 11th, 2009
I’m sitting outside on the patio under a leafy tree at my favorite coffee shop, talking with Alan.
Alan is an architect who has been helping my brother Jim with his restaurant project. Alan has long gray/blonde hair that hangs in a messy horse’s tail down his back. He flicks the hot ash from his Camel cigarette and says, “When Jim was at my house one day, the water in the kitchen faucet turned on by itself and I said, ‘What the heck?’
“Then,” he continues, “awhile later another faucet downstairs turns on and starts a flood and again I said, ‘What the heck? Are there spirits around here trying to tell us something?’”
Alan pauses and sucks his white Camel like a doobie.
“I thought, ‘Does this mean this whole project with Jim’s new restaurant is big money down the drain?’”
“Hmmm,” I say.
Jim and Alan, after a year of trying to get a loan and borrowing money from friends and family to build a new restaurant, have been denied. The banks tease but they just won’t loan. Jim is caught up in the collapse of the economy. He’s now at home with the cotton blankets pulled over his head, in the musky dark and in despair.
Alan breathes some smoke and I breathe some smokey air.
We are both silent. Because of his illness and the economy, my brother Art may lose his jewelry shop which is right next door to the coffee shop and the coffee shop itself is teetering on the edge of extinction.
When I go home, I tell my ex, Bill, about Jim.
Bill says, “Sometimes I wake up in the night and I wonder who I am. I wonder where I am. Am I back in my childhood or am I forward in time somewhere? Am I on another planet? It takes me awhile to remember who I am and what part of my life I’m in. It’s hard to get re-oriented, but once I do, I’m OK.” (more…)
Tags: bill, carnival, cat, confusion, jim, life, loan, mom, mother, pipes, planet, plumber, table, tea
Posted in
Family, Mysteries in Life, Stories about Mother, Things I'm Not Good At, Words from Venus |
6 Comments »
Saturday, July 11th, 2009
Polly calls.
“We have to do something! Mother got up this morning and there was a big rat swimming around and around in her toilet bowl and she couldn’t get him out and then she did get him out with the toilet brush and then her dog grabbed him and ate him and Mom says that somehow the toilet seat got dismantled and torn up and she feels really bad about the rat getting eaten, he was trying so hard to survive.”
Polly sucks air and goes on. “She has lost her blood pressure pills for three days now and that’s very dangerous and you can’t find anything in that place it’s such a mess and there are vast dangling cobwebs on her windows, have you seen them, her housekeeper is no good but Mom won’t fire her because she likes her and Becky has ripped up all the rugs digging for squirrels under the house and we need to replace the floors with vinyl, Mom agrees and Mom just keeps eating that same crock pot soup that cooks all the time and she never dumps it and starts over and you have to do something and right now, Venus.”
I say, “I’m not coming over there and clean that house. I am not cleaning up all the blood and guts from all the dismembered field creatures that her cat brings in. I am not. ”
I know my abilities and housecleaning is not one of them.
Polly jags off onto another topic about how she, Polly, fired her website person and she is now doing the site herself and how she was talking to so and so this famous person and her grandkids are always over at her place and she can’t get anything done and she keeps jigging and jagging from topic to topic and I can’t stand it. Trying to follow her mind makes me feel crazy and I finally yell, “Shut up! Shut up!”
“Arrgh?” she says.
“What’s wrong with you, are you ADD?!! You never stay with one line of thought. I can’t stand it,” I say and I am not kind about it.
And later that day the results from the CAT scan our mother had a week or so, come in. (more…)
Tags: cancer, cat, CATscan, cult, doctor, dog, hell, kids, mother, powder, rats, seminar, summer, wine, yellowpills
Posted in
Family, Mysteries in Life, Relationships, Stories about Mother, Things I'm Not Good At, Wierd Stuff, Words from Venus |
12 Comments »
Thursday, June 25th, 2009
Lexi, my six year old granddaughter, is in trouble, again.
Her mother tells me, “Lexi is at the age where she is fascinated with people’s rear ends. And, she has her own computer. Not a good mix. The other day she came running into the kitchen and asked me to come and look at something.
“I went into her room and she led me to her computer, pointed at the screen and said, “Why are they doing this?”
I peered closer and oh my gosh! I said, ‘Lexi! Where did you get this?!’ She said she had gone to Google and typed in something like BumBums.com!”
“Mooom!” Summer wails to me, “It was some Butt Fetish website and there were all kinds of weird things sticking out of people’s bums! And I had to explain to Lexi why people would do this and what the meaning was!”
I’m laughing. I can’t help it.
“Mom, Lexi is coming up to visit you for awhile and I want you to watch her on the computer. I don’t know what she might think to look up, next.”
“Gee,” I say, “I never would have thought of looking for something like bum bums on the net!”
Last time Lexi stayed with me for awhile, it was interesting. Of course.
She looks at me one day and says, “You’re looking a little old, BaBa.” (more…)
Tags: bumbums, butts, computer, crosses, death, flowers, Lexi, pretty
Posted in
Family, Mysteries in Life, Relationships, Wierd Stuff |
3 Comments »
