Archive for the ‘ Odd People I Meet ’ Category

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Dog Road & The House Of Secrets

Wednesday, June 5th, 2013

Dog Road With The House Of Secrets

There’s a red dog lost on the paved road that runs past my house. He’s skinny.

I stop my car, pull over and call to him. He runs away.

I drive up the lane to my house, grab a bottle of water, a bowl, and a bag of cat kibble.

I call out to Bill and rap on his Studio door.

“We have to get this dog!” I shout. “He’s in the road and some car is going to hit him.”

Bill get’s a leash and we’re off, driving slowly, looking up dirt lanes and behind trees.

I stop the car at an ill kept house along the way. The lady who lives here sometimes helps me corral lost dogs in the street and the last time I saved a dog, it was one of hers.

I pound on her door. And pound again. There is a great yapping and flinging of strong dog bodies against the flimsy screen.

A younger blonde version of the older woman comes up behind me. She’s just visiting she says, and tells me she’s the woman’s daughter. She might be in her 40′s.

Yes, she says she’s seen the dog in the road and tried to catch him and he ran off.

She points to a small dirt road ahead of us. “I saw him run up there.”

I hop in my car and off we go, as Bill and I fly up that road. If cars had wings we’d be racing the wind currents.

I stop the car and pop out. Bill eases out his side and walks onto a property where there is a house for sale.

There she is, the red dog, behind eucalyptus trees with her back against a fence, watching us.

I can’t see them but I hear 2 women from where we just came from, talking about the dog.

“Over here!” I call. “We need help. The dog is here. We need you!”

Two women come trotting up the lane. It’s the mother and daughter.

The dog leaps as Bill approaches her, then runs away. She runs toward me and quick, I pour water in a red bowl. The dog stops and drinks madly, then tears off, again.

The ladies think the dog belongs in the house at the end of the lane, beyond a big metal gate. They think they have seen her there.

Leaning hard on the gate, I try and push it open. It won’t push. It’s locked.

The ladies and Bill are running and swooping, trying to catch the dog. I’m calling shrilly into the house beyond the gate.

Big dogs at that house, roar their distaste and rush for me. It’s chaotic.

At last, behind me the red dog allows the older women to grab and hold her.

From the house beyond the gate, a man, a wavy figure  behind a long dark glass window calls out, “What’s going on!”

I call to him that I think we have his red dog, “The one with the skinny bones!”

The man comes out and gestures that he’ll check behind his house to see if that dog is missing.

What is this fellow doing locked up in a dark house on this sunny day?

Yes, it’s his dog.

Hurrah! A happy ending.

The man comes over to us wearing a bandana on his head, a youngish man who wants his privacy most of all.

I’m very friendly, clasp his hand and say I’m his neighbor Venus, and we’ve been chasing his dog all along, through and away from the busy road.

I wonder what this man’s secrets are. I think he has some.

But, he’s happy to see his dog and leads her away.

I jump around and clap my hands and shout to Bill and the ladies about what a good team we are and how well we all work together catching lost dogs.

We’re all happy but I think maybe I am the most happy…or maybe just the most effusive and vocal about it?

Any day when you can save a dog’s life, is a good day I think!

*Do you know the kind of work I do when I’m not busy having Adventures?  THIS YEAR is a great time to have a Phone Reading with me!   Visit me at www.GodIsAlwaysHappy.com for rates and availability.

 Testimonial

“Everything is better since we talked, Venus. You work Magic.” x Maggie R.

Marie writes: “Thanks to Venus Andrecht ! Always a riot and her reading on my most recent relationship was so bang on (and so was her last one!) “

*Would you like to receive my NEWSLETTER: ‘The Juicy News’ ? Sign up where you see the Blue Head Phones on the right side of this blog story on the original blog page: http://www.godisalwayshappy.com/blog

*If My True Life (this Blog) gives you a lift, please consider EMAILING it to your friends. You will keep me writing and that is good for my mental health. Better To Get These Weird Things Out Of Mind, Rather Than Keep Them In, right?

*You can also find me on Google+ and FB Fan Page under venus andrecht.  


 

 

 

 


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Secret Stories

Wednesday, May 22nd, 2013

This is the first house I owned. This was many, many years ago when I was newly married. The house looked different then but was an artist and book house while I lived there.

The First House I Ever Owned, As It Looks Today

The house cost us $15,000.

Oddly, I have art and book friends who live here, now. Odder still, it remains an art and book house. I am often invited to my friend’s parties and it is always daja vu being at that house!

It’s a hot day and there is yet another gathering here.  I will let you pick out and guess who the following stories belong to at this party.

Good luck.

The Band In The Backyard

(more…)

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Posted in Art and Beauty, Good Energy, Lovelife, Mysteries in Life, Odd People I Meet, Parties and Fun, Wierd Stuff, Words from Venus | 3 Comments »

Can Old Ladies Be Trusted?

Wednesday, May 15th, 2013

Carol is 85 and beats the heads off live rattlesnakes. Then she skins the rest of the snake. And salts the skins.

 

Only SOME Of Carol’s Snake Skins

This is her collection.

She and the rattlesnakes live, and some expire, on a big ranch down the road from me.
Every Thursday, my art friend Regina, myself and our art teacher Stan, come to Carol’s house to paint. Many times when I walk from outside the house into Carol’s laundry room, I jump half my body length into the air. I jump because Carol has several snake skins or more, laid out on the top of her dryer, right next to the door. They’re just lying there like live snakes in repose;  relaxed and salted as they dry.

I often shriek.  (more…)

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Posted in Art and Beauty, Mysteries in Life, Odd People I Meet, Parties and Fun, Relationships, Wierd Stuff, Words from Venus | 8 Comments »

My Mother’s Friend

Wednesday, May 8th, 2013

My Mother’s Friend, Martha

My mother’s friend Martha is 90 years old. She is mainly blind from birth, and now her hearing is drifting off. I imagine words coming towards her and curling into a gentle, blue puffy cloud.

Martha lives alone with her dog friend, Gretel.

Martha considers my mother her best friend. But, my mother is dead… and hence so is Martha’s best friend.

Martha calls me on the phone one day, wanting to return a book to me. She must have borrowed it from my mother.

I say, “Keep it or give it away, whatever you want.”

There is a silence.

“Oh. Do you want me to come and get it?” I ask.

Yes. She does.

She’s lonely. She wants to see me. I haven’t seen Martha since my mother died 2 1/2 years ago.

The next day when I arrive at her gate, I park my car, get out and wait for her to push her way down the drive with her walker. She unlocks the heavy wire gate and I step through the opening.

She reaches toward me, takes my face in her hands and peers closely up into my face.

“Oh. You look just like your mother. It’s like having your mother here with me, again.”

I am going to be my mother for an hour or two as I spend some time with Martha.

We inch our way up the long drive. Martha tells me she has to use the walker because her dog, in her great thrill with life and running, ran over her one day when they were outside. Greta knocked Martha to the ground and Martha broke her leg.

“But, I’m fine now,” Martha tells me once we are settled in the house at her table. “I only bring the walker outside with me so Greta can’t take me down when she’s chasing rabbits and squirrels.

Martha has a nice old house. It’s not fancy. It’s plain. The kitchen where we are sitting has old coffee cans dotting the sink, mismatched dishes and cracked drinking glasses. It looks like my mother’s kitchen.

Martha’s husband died 25 years ago. I remember him. A tall man with a great, big dark moustache that ran up at the ends into a wide smile.

They raised chickens. Looking out the kitchen window I notice the long old chicken houses, rusted with age and neglect.

Martha has been alone for a long, long time.

Her children live in places like China and Nepal. One lives across a wide field near Martha but she is gone for ten and more hours a day.

I look around and silently wonder, ‘How do you live alone when you are old and nearly blind and can hardly hear?’

“How do you do it?” I ask her.  ”How do you feel about living alone?”

Martha says she is healthy. That even her knees are good. She thinks a minute. “About living and being alone for so many years? I just do it.”

She says it used to be easier when a bus came by and took her uptown but that it’s been years since that bus came by. Once a week, a friend takes her for a senior lunch at the Centre. The daughter that lives across the big field, takes her grocery shopping and they have lunch every Sunday.

I hear the ticking of an old wooden clock on the kitchen wall. We sit quietly and I listen to the tick. Martha has been listening to that clock tick her days away for at least 25 years.

“I have to go now,” I say, reluctantly. “I have to be somewhere else.”

“Oh. It’s been so nice having you here for awhile,” she says. She is disappointed that I have to go.

“In a couple, of weeks,” I say, “I’m going to call you and come and get you and take you to my house for lunch and tea. Would you like that?”

She would!

Now, we both have something to look forward, too.

Martha sees my mother in me…and I see my mother in Martha.

My mother’s old friend is now my new friend.

My mother’s friend is now my friend, too.

Suddenly, I feel all sweet and warm inside.

….*Do you know the kind of work I do when I’m not busy having Adventures?  THIS YEAR is a great time to have a Phone Reading with me!   Visit me at www.GodIsAlwaysHappy.com for rates and availability.

*Would you like to receive my NEWSLETTER: ‘The Juicy News’ ? Sign up where you see the Blue Head Phones on the right side of this blog story on the original blog page: http://www.godisalwayshappy.com/blog

*If My True Life (this Blog) gives you a lift, please consider EMAILING it to your friends. You will keep me writing and that is good for my mental health. Better To Get These Weird Things Out Of Mind, Rather Than Keep Them In, right?

*You can also find me on Google+ and FB Fan Page under venus andrecht.  


 

 

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Bob’s Privates

Wednesday, April 24th, 2013

This Is ‘Worried’ Bob

Bill is talking about Bob’s anal glands, again.

It’s early morning. I have just gotten up and am dozing a bit in my comfortable leather chair with the sun on my shoulders, in the sitting room. With a full coffee cup in one hand, I am easing into the day.

*Bill has come in from his Studio that’s attached to my house.

“Good morning,” he says. Then he makes a bit of cheery chit chat about the world news, which isn’t like him. Instead of just leaving me the newspaper, he is being sociable.

Standing in front of me  he says, “We need another $60 for repair of the leaf blower. I already gave the guy $30.”

I say, “Bill, this is why I like to buy quality. We get something cheap and we pay more and more when it breaks down.”

The cheap leaf blower is always breaking down. Guess who picked it out.

We have a tiny, heated discussion about the leaf blower.

When that subject gets beaten up there is silence while Bill jiggles up and down.

“I’ve been looking at replacements for the  outside chair cushions,” he says.

He goes on to remark on the colors, the stuffings, the different brands that he likes.

We have discussed this many times. He wants the cushions. I have found the cushions I like and would have ordered them a month ago if I were in charge.

Bill wants what I, as an artist, consider some ugly replacements and we have been arguing about this. Finally, I have said, “Since I’m paying for them, we are getting what I want.”

I have asked Bill a number of times to measure the 3 types of chairs and then I will order the cushions. I have been leaving this to him as the whole replacement thing is his idea.

Meanwhile, we are heading into the summer and are at an impasse.

I take a deep breath. No reason to be mad about a small, silly thing.

“So, we need to get Bob to the vet to squeeze his anal glands,” Bill says. (more…)

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Justice Prevails

Wednesday, April 17th, 2013

Ramona, California-The Town Where Justice Lives

“Justice wants to walk you to your car,” the woman says.

Our small health food store is one of my favorite places in town. It’s owned by a couple with 5 children.

I’m at the counter checking out my little bag of groceries and when I hear the woman’s voice, I glance behind me. And look down. There is a small boy with brown hair looking up at me. His mother, one of the owners, is standing behind him.

“OoooK…” I say to his mom. “That’s nice of him. Sure, he can walk me to my car.”

The checker slides my Trader Joe’s bag to me.

I take it and say to Justice, “Let’s go?”

He reaches out a spindly arm and says, “Give me your bag.”

Justice appears to be a serious, no nonsense kind of guy.

As I hand the bag over I’m glad I’ve shopped light today.

Justice has my groceries and struggles to push open the heavy glass door for me. I give it a shove from behind him.

We ease down the crumbly concrete steps of the old building and into the tiny alley. I say,

“Always look for cars when you do this. Look both ways now. Left and right.”

I want to take his hand to guide him but it doesn’t seem right when he’s walking me to the car and carrying my bag.

We quickly get to my car and I open the back door, after Justice has gamely tried to do it.

He puts the bag on the seat.

I shut the door.

“Thanks so much Justice, you were so helpful. I really appreciate your help. Be careful crossing the alley, now. Look both ways.”

I turn away and open my car door. I am half way into the seat when I hear his voice behind me.

“I take tips.”

“You do?!” I almost shout.

Bounding out of the car I stand and look down at Justice. He’s looking up at me, holding his ground.

“You take tips?”

I’m thinking, ‘How much money do you give a little kid?’

“How old are you?” I ask.

“I’m six.”

I’m thinking of my 6 year old grandson. He doesn’t know a dime from a doughnut hole. A quarter and a dollar and a hundred dollar bill are all the same to him.

I’m stalling for time to think.

“What do you need the money for?”

“Things. I need money for things. Like going to Disney Land.”

Opening my coin purse I think, ‘A quarter or a dollar?’ I decide on a quarter and put it in Justice’s out stretched hand.

He takes it and puts it in his jean’s front pocket.

He looks up at me.

“I’m Justice,” he says. “I fight for justice for the good guys against the bad guys.”

Briefly, I think, ‘Am I a good guy? Is a quarter enough to qualify?’

Justice is a serious kid. I’d like to be on the good side.

He turns to leave and I say, ”Next time I’m in, I’ll ask for you. Look both ways, now. Watch for cars.”

As he carefully makes his way back to the steps and into the store I start laughing.

‘I take tips.’

I have just met a very Young Entrepreneur and perhaps a soon to be Famous Prosecutor and a Fighter for Social Justice.

I won’t forget Justice, that’s for sure. He’s a scrappy little fellow that will be grown up one day. And in those future days I may need  to have him in my corner of any ring I might find myself in.

So, look around folks. Are there any kids you know that you might want to mentor or cultivate with particular attention and kindness? After all, little kids become big kids and they eventually run the world.

….*Do you know the kind of work I do when I’m not busy having Adventures? Look here for details. THIS YEAR is a great time to have a phone reading with me!   Visit me at www.GodIsAlwaysHappy.com for rates and availability.

*Would you like to receive my NEWSLETTER; ’The Juicy News” ? Sign up where you see the Blue Head Phones on the right side of this blog story on the original blog page: http://www.godisalwayshappy.com/blog

*If My True Life (this Blog) gives you a lift, please consider EMAILING it to your friends. You will keep me writing and that is good for my mental health. Better To Get These Weird Things Out Of Mind, Rather Than Keep Them In, right?

*You can also find me on Google+ under venus andrecht.  All lower case.


 

 

 

 

 

 

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Chicken Lady & Underwear Man

Wednesday, April 10th, 2013

 

Not Chickens But Close Enough?

“Stop, Baba! Stop! I’m scared! Turn around!”

My grandkids are screaming with terror in the back seat of my car.

Too late to stop. We are climbing straight up the side of a mountain that is mainly enormous shiny boulders. Chicken Lady lives here and we have come to meet her chickens.

Eeeh gads. Even I am nervous. I haven’t expected this.

We reach a small plateau surrounded by more Straight Up. I park the car. This is the place. We all get out and we are leaning forwards so we can stay upright.

There is an old house up the grade aways and behind and beside us and in front of us are long, slung together chicken sheds.

Around us, beside us and in front of us run big goats and baby goats, loose chickens and cats.

An old woman dressed in overalls slides down the mountain towards us.

It’s Chicken Lady!

Loch who is 6, is looking at the ground around his feet which is littered with  small, moist brown balls. The balls are arranged in artistic scattered piles and lines, as far as we can see.

Loch says to Chicken Lady, “What is that stuff?”

Chicken Lady puts down a bucket and  says, “It’s goat poop.”

Loch winces, cries out and tries to dance around and away from it.

Chicken Lady looks at me and says, “Where is he from?”

I say he lives at the Coast and they don’t have goat manure there.

We tilt our heads back and look up. More goats are climbing the rocks and the mountain. I am trying to keep my balance by flailing my arms and moving my feet.

Chicken Lady suggests we meet the chickens. We turn and slide down the hill and kind of roll into one of the vast sheds. The sunlit sheds contain all kinds of chickens that are roaming at will. There’s also a lot of goats in here.

The kids are impressed.

A big, gold goat comes trotting up to Loch, stops and stands in front of him and pees a massive pee.

Loch points and yells, “What’s that!?”

Chicken Lady looks surprised and disgusted at his question.

“It’s a goat peeing,” she says.

Loch screams and backs away, going into a ragged wail of fake crying.

“What’s the matter with you?” Chicken Lady says.

She stares at him and says, “Everything poops and everything pees. Get used to it.”

This is our day at the chicken ‘ranch.’

As we climb into the car to leave, Chicken Lady sidles up to me and asks if I think the kid will ever be normal. I say that I hope so. That I am trying to teach Loch about Real Life Beyond The Cosmopolitan Coast.

We say ‘Good-bye’ and ‘thanks,’ to Chicken Lady. Then we slam our car doors, kick the red car into gear and slide it down the mountain, leaving (I’m sorry to say) Chicken Lady in a great whirl of dust and tiny stones. The kids yell, “Go faster Baba! Go faster!” (more…)

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My Stupid Love Life

Wednesday, April 3rd, 2013

Good Energy Art By Venus http://www.artmojos.com

It’s 6PM, several years ago. I’m cutting flowers in my summer garden. My house phone is ringing and I rush inside the kitchen to answer it. It’s Harry, the fellow my brother has been telling me has a crush on me. I’m breathing hard from the quick run from the yard.

Harry says, “Venus, what time does your mother go to bed?”

“Ah…what?  My mother? What times does my mother go to bed? Eight? Eight-thirty? Why.”

“I’d like to go and see her ,” Harry says, “But, maybe it’s too late in the day.”

My mother is 87 and Harry is maybe 40. He thinks of my mother as his mother.

“Here”, I say, “I’ll give you her care taker’s number. She can tell you if Mom is still up.”

“No, no!” Harry shouts.  ”Don’t.”

“OK,” I say. “Goodnight then?”

“Thank you, Venus,” Harry says, “for running inside to answer the phone.”

Later, I laugh myself to sleep. This is one of the more novel excuses a man has used to phone me.

“What time does your mother go to bed?” !!? (more…)

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The FOD Girls

Wednesday, March 13th, 2013

Lexi Meets The Neanderthal Man

Summer is saying, “So far nothing odd has happened today for you to write about in your blog, Mom.”

And, then it happens.

The three of us are playing hooky from our regular lives, today. We’ve come to Balboa Park to give my granddaughter Lexi, who is 10, some museum culture. Lexi has been badgering us for months, to take her to see the “Naked Neanderthal men at the History Museum.”

I’ve thought she might be disappointed. In America, nobody has genitals in these kinds of places. It’s just not done. This may be why the Neanderthals died out.

The cavemen are indeed a disappointment.

Next, we have lunch outside at a fancy place on the Park grounds. While looking at the menu, Summer says, “Lexi will have a big Margarita.”

Lexi snaps to attention and gets excited.

“Oh wait,” her mother says, ” I was thinking about myself, not you Lexi. Sorry.”

Lexi slumps in her chair and peers at her dismal glass of water.

So far, nothing *FOD has happened.

As we get up from our table after lunch, we notice small white hearts encased in tiny plastic snack baggies, on the ground.

Oh my! (more…)

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Posted in Art and Beauty, Being Psychic, Family, Good Energy, Mysteries in Life, Odd People I Meet, Relationships, Wierd Stuff, Words from Venus | 6 Comments »

Whoops! Another Good Doctor!

Wednesday, February 20th, 2013

Sometimes It Would Have Been Better To Have Stayed Home For The Day

A phone call comes from a friend of mine and she is screaming with laughter. She has just read my blog from last week, recounting the mighty gas display by my Good Doctor.

‘Sylvia’ feels compelled to tell me about her husband Dr.’Pete’, the chiropractor, and his  profound  experience.

He likes to dress casually when he works, she says. A sport shirt and a nice pair of pants will do the job.

One day he is busy adjusting a 400 lb lady. He bends over her as the big woman lies face down on the adjusting table. Because of her size, he has to labor to put his full weight into the adjusting maneuver. The mighty stress of the effort suddenly and most unexpectedly, rips his pants wide open from his back waistband right down through his butt cheeks to the crotch of his pants.

“Not to worry,” Dr. Pete later tells his wife, “my  patient didn’t hear the ripping tear  because at the same moment she was ripping herself, as she let out a gigantic fart!”

“But, feeling a need to work more freely, Pete had decided not to wear any underpants that day,” Sylvia tells me. “And as he said, ‘Because of that small lapse, while working with patients and nurses I had to keep my back to the walls of the clinic for the rest of the day. One of the hardest parts was that patients often bring family members into the treatment room and they sit wherever they please! What a day!”

The moral may be that, while it is not easy being a patient, we should all have some patience and understanding, as it is not always easy being a doctor.

*Would you like to receive my NEWSLETTER; ’The Juicy News” ? Sign up where you see the Blue Head Phones on the right side of this blog story on the original blog page: http://www.godisalwayshappy.com/blog

*If My True Life (this Blog) gives you a lift, please consider EMAILING it to your friends. You will keep me writing and that is good for my mental health. Better To Get These Weird Things Out Of Mind, Rather Than Keep Them In, right?

*Do you know the kind of work I do when I’m not busy having Adventures? Look here for details. THIS YEAR is a great time to have a phone reading with me!   Visit me at www.GodIsAlwaysHappy.com for rates and availability.

*You can also find me on Google+ under venus andrecht.  All lower case.


 

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