Here’s why I need a plumber.
Bill’s car died and has to be hauled off to a Car Cemetery.
Bill tripped over his feet and fell flat with a thud on the patio. I thought the thud was his head, but it turns out it’s his elbow which is black and blue. He smarts in many places but the good thing is his back was hurting for 3 months and now that pain is gone. We think the fall gave him an adjustment.
The drain in Bill’s kitchen sink is plugged up clear to the back wall and we need a plumber.
So. Now I am Bill’s chauffeur and he has to wash his many dishes in my sink, in my house. However, the body wreckage he’s suffered doesn’t affect me thank goodness, as I have my own.
Our first order is to find a plumber. The car burial can come later.
The plumber I always use is not returning my calls. I believe he has run off. My guts say his wife left him. I am sorry about that, but I can’t fix him and obviously, he’s not emotionally able to drain Bill’s sink and clear the pipes. He may be drunk some where, I don’t know.
Bill gets out the town’s yellow pages and begins the hunt for a good plumber.
As I am his landlordess, I give him instructions.
“Get the Senior Rate. Get a plumber who doesn’t charge to come out and look. Ask me before you choose one as I have lived in this town a long time and know a lot of people.”
Bill doesn’t want my instruction. He curls his lips and gets to work. From the other side of the door I hear him drop the yellow pages and turn to his computer. He’s making calls in his Studio. These darn walls are way too thin.
My brother Jim comes over to nap on my living room couch. (Oh come on now, I haven’t time to explain that one. I’m trying to tell you about looking for a plumber.)
Bill raps on the door between his studio and my house. He comes into my Great Room and says, “Hi Jim. OK. This guy I called will do the drain for $80 and he’s asking questions about the leak in your tub faucet and what else you want done.”
“Who is he?” I ask.
“What does it matter who he is?!”
“I may know him,” I say.
Bill turns and goes into his place and I follow.
“It’s Dan Donovan Plumbing, if you must know,” he says.
“Not him!” I yell.
“I can’t remember why. I just know I have a down feeling about it, some memory in the past.”
Then, I notice he’s on the phone.
“Ah..I’ll call you back,” he says and hangs up.
Darn. Why didn’t he tell me he was talking to the man?
“You can always do this yourself you know!” Bill snarls.
He gets all irritated and comes back into my house with the phone book.
Jim shouts from the couch, “Who? Dan Donovan!? He ripped me off! He charged me an extra hundred dollars and then left shit everywhere in my place! ”
“Oh,” Bill says as he turns around and goes back into his studio. Continue reading