Posts Tagged ‘ God ’

Who Ministers To God?

Tuesday, April 10th, 2012

Who Ministers To God?

Today I meet a lady paramedic named Connie. “I’ve been a paramedic for 26 years” she tells me. “24 hours on and 24 hours off. I love it.”

Why do you love it,” I ask.

“Because of the excitement. It’s always a thrill. You never know who it’s going to be that’s in trouble or what the situation will be.”

Connie says, “There was one lady in her 60′s who kept calling us because she was having a heart attack. We went there 16 times and it was never a heart attack! When she called the 17th time my partner said, ‘I’m not going this time. You take care of her.’”

So, I did. I got there and I said, “So what is the real problem? What’s really bothering you?” (more…)

The Secret To A Good Hair Day

Tuesday, March 13th, 2012

The Secret To A Good Hair Day http://www.artmojos.com

The East wind is blowing as I’m walking through the Farmer’s Market. I’m watching the cold wind smack the lettuce off my hot fish taco.

When I look up I see a woman waving at me from a booth. I walk over and recognize her from other places in town.

“I can’t remember your name,” she says, “but I sure remember your hair!”

My hair is white. I call it platinum, and I have lots of it. It’s bouncing in the wind now, blowing and billowing around my head in a whipped frenzy.

This hair has a lot of energy. My mother used to say “I can always tell when you’re upset Venus, or when something dramatic is going on in your life because it stands straight out all over your head.”

Oh yes. It’s curly, too.

My hair is electric; sometimes more so then others.

When my hair is wet it looks like almost nothing is there. It sticks to my head making my face look like a pecan in it’s shell or the top part of a long green onion.

As the hair begins to dry it gains momentum and is soon flying around my head and face like white frosting shot from a can.

People marvel at the change.

Why am I rapturing on about my hair to you? In a moment you will know. (more…)

Are You Really as Odd as I Think You Are?

Tuesday, January 17th, 2012

"You Think I'm What??"

My brother-in-law has called me on the phone.

He says, “I want you to know I love you.”

I say, “Thank you Ron.”

“And,” he adds briskly, “although you have always been an irritant in my life you have made me a better person by doing it.”

What? He loves me but I irritate him? I irritate him?

He continues.

“And whenever I need help you are always there for me and you always stand up for me, no matter what. And I love you for that.”

“I am an irritant?!” I say.

“Well, yes.”

“What do you mean I’m an irritant?!”

“Ah…well…I really don’t know…except that you always call me on my stuff and tell me, bull’s eye, whatever it is. You are always honest with me and tell me straight and you tell me to knock it off.”

“Like what?”

“Well…I don’t know…but it’s a good thing I married your sister and not you. I just know that you have always been an irritant in my life and I love you.”

“Gee. Thanks for the call, Ron.”

“You’re welcome.”

Hahahhhahah!

Later that same evening my cousin Elaine sends me an email.  (more…)

Skeeter Stings Teenager…Outcome Uncertain

Tuesday, January 10th, 2012

 

Skeeter Has The Answer For All Of Us

There’s a handsome man in the beauty shop, but when he opens his mouth I realize he isn’t handsome. He’s annoying.

He’s walked in and settled himself in a brown plastic chair against the wall, way behind the one I’m sitting in. He acts like it’s his personal chair.

He’s snortling and saying things about Alaska, trying to get my attention but I’m not giving it. I am not in the mood to amuse a strange man.

My granddaughter, 9-year-old Lexi, is getting her first Beauty Shop haircut.

She’s sitting transfixed in a high booster chair in the regular salon chair in front of a large mirror. The stylist, a sixty-something woman with slicked back long, long, long dragging reddish/gray hair, is snipping and snapping around Lexi with a sharp pair of silver scissors.

I’m thinking the stylist needs a haircut really badly.

The man in the back chair keeps nattering on. Lexi’s beautician, and the other one in the shop, largely ignore him.

Both ladies are methodically cutting, whacking, and curling their client’s tresses.

I’m yawning.

Three young boys walk in. The oldest asks if anyone can cut his and his brother’s  hair.

“Just have a seat,” they’re told. “We’ll be with you shortly.”

The two youngest boys look like they are in early grade school. These two boys grab seats and the older one, about fifteen, sits next to me.

He looks part Asian. The other two don’t.

I’m wondering how this family got mixed and what might be their interesting story.

Lexi ignores the boys. She is too involved in her first real haircut and maybe too young to feel embarrassed by her wet straggly head of hair and her butt on a little’s kids booster seat.

Everybody’s quiet. Everybody except The Man In The Back Chair Against The Wall.

“My name’s Skeeter,” he says. “You sure have nice weather here. I’m from Alaska.”

The boys are very polite. They nod toward the man and acknowledge him.

The boy next to me says, “My name is Ronnie and my little brother’s are Ace and Cash.”

The client who is getting her hair curled is finished now. She’s about eighty and she leaves happily with a tall pile of red curls standing straight up off the top of her boney head.

Ace, who looks about six-years-old, is called by the other stylist to get in the vacant chair for his cut.

The woman asks if the boys are having a nice Christmas holiday.

They are.

Skeeter speaks up. “I wrote a book,” he says. “I got it right here.”

The boys turn towards him to look but I don’t. (more…)